


Assassination A

by DrageeKeksi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attempted Murder, Badass Armin Arlert, Badass Eren Yeager, Badass Jean Kirstein, Badass Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Badass Mikasa Ackerman, Character Death, Depression, Explosions, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Hospitals, M/M, Major Spoilers, Murder, Poisoning, Poor Armin Arlert, Poor Eren Yeager, Poor Jean Kirstein, Secret Crush, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25407415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrageeKeksi/pseuds/DrageeKeksi
Summary: Armin found out the identity of the female titan, but has yet to tell everyone his plan in a meeting. Turns out getting to the meeting in the first place can be quite the challenge if someone wants you desperately dead.
Relationships: Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert & Levi, Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein, Jean Kirstein & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover & Annie Leonhart
Comments: 8
Kudos: 87
Collections: Start Reading





	1. Secrets are better kept secret

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler Alert!  
> Only read when you know the identity of the colossal, armoured and female titan.  
> Don't say I didn't warn you.

Frantic footsteps echoed through the hallway. The person running to the end of that path didn't take much knowledge of her surroundings. She passed windows in a blur, barely dodging other soldiers on her run. 

She raced for only one destination, her pounding heart accompanying her like a loyal dog. The fear of losing her identity chasing her, like a hungry wolf, teeth bared and trying to take a bite of her at any given chance.

The young woman reached a cold wooden door, probably oak. Breathless pants caressed the obscure wall between two rooms. Shame was pounding through her every fiber, heating up her usually pale face. This feeling made her hesitate in her actions.

How is this possible? How did she, especially she land into this bullshit?

Her pride strictly forbid her to accept any help, let alone beg for it. Things like that didn't suit her in the slightest.

But was there another option left? Did she have an actual choice? She wanted to see him again so badly. This mission contained the highest priority, so she was ready to do anything for it.

The young adult opened the heavy door without signalling her entrance. Two heads perked up in surprise in the other room. They didn't seem to appreciate the missing knock, but surprise marked their facial expression extremely quickly. 

The woman closed the door, happy to dodge their curious looks for at least a few seconds.

"We have a problem, boys." She declared after clearing her throat. Just then she dared to look at her two comrades on the other side of the room.

"What's wrong, Annie?" The black haired man questioned with a shocked tone underlining his words.

Mentioned woman leaned against the door, her heart pounding louder than ever before.

"I think he figured out." She confessed scared, for once not knowing what to do. No instructor could help them now, they were all on their own.

"Who figured out what? Annie what are you talking about?" Berthold panicked. With his rising voice his body joined in and walked towards the girl. He stopped meters before her, not really sure how to treat this situation. Annie was often braced with composure and stayed like this towards any situation. Seeing her distressed like this was worrying.

"You're talking about Armin?" The blond guy sighed, more like a statement than a question. Annie swallowed hard and nodded. Internally she cursed her own incompetence. She had enough chances out there, she should've crushed that guy as the female titan she was.

Reiner shook his head, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He didn't make signs of standing up any soon.

"That guy is sharp. His brain is more dangerous than any sword." He summed up indifferently. Annie narrowed her eyes into slits.

"I noticed that, too. Thanks." She growled and walked past Berthold towards the window.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Reiner grumbled. She had left him with the mission to pick that nuisance up and flee. With that he had risked that this guy could build up any associations between the three of them. He had carried the boy under his armpit intentionally so he wouldn't notice the smoke coming from his skin. That boy had the female titan completely figured out, although accidently leaking unknown information about Eren's whereabouts. He didn't fear a bell would ring in Horseface's brain, he seemed too occupied with Armin's well being. He had accused Reiner for making Armin's concussion worse by carrying him that carelessly. And he probably did, since that boy viewed dazed for a while, pretty unsteady on his own feet. When Armin's wound had been treated, by then Reiner's minor wounds had been fixed as well.

"I..." Annie stuttered, but since words refused to come out she simply sealed her lips again.

"It's like back then with Marco. You're too weak." Reiner's deep voice sent shivers down her spine.

"You've gotten too attached to that spawns of the devil."

"Reiner..." Berthold objected weakly.

"Maybe you aren't that different from them anyway?" He pushed mercilessly. Annie gasped and clawed into her arms. No. She wasn't one of them. She was a warrior. But why did she need to prove it?

"He was harmless, ok? He could've never hurt me, even if he tried to." She grabbed for a lousy excuse. From the reflection in the window she saw Berthold's sorrowful face, Reiner was out of reach.

"But he knows people who aren't harmless. Mikasa, Eren and with Eren comes Levi Erwin Hanji-"

"Ok yeah I get it!" Annie interrupted his rant and turned around, her arms still crossed she dodged his eyes.

"Armin is just one of the purest and nicest persons I know." She actually started to rethink their actions. Marco's death screams echoing in her brain. Who were the real monsters? Was such a nice person like Armin a devil?

"That's his cover. But he will blow _your_ cover. Then they will capture you. And torture you. You will always regret not killing him when you had the chance to." Reiner spoke bitterly. Annie sighed. Reiner was right. Of course he was. 

"So what's the plan?" She asked and stemmed her hands on her hips, inspecting her two male comrades determined.

Berthold looked to the ground. He hadn't forgotten what they were forced to do with Marco. It had marked them traumaticly and followed them into their dreams. Also in his case his sharp mind had condemned his horrible end, young death.

"We need to kill Arlert." Reiner said what everyone knew. What everyone feared. For some reason, no one wanted to murder that young innocent boy. Helpless, defenseless. And at the same time one of the most dangerous enemies.

"So. How are you going to pull this off?" She asked with a sick smirk. Reiner widened his eyes, merely flinching.

"Why me?" He gasped. It was too familiar to Annie. It had been her words when Reiner pushed her to murder Marco.

"I did the dirty work when you messed up with Marco. Now it's your turn to help me out." She demanded rightfully. Reiner cursed under his breath and looked outside.

"Alright. I'll do it." Reiner grumbled, in his head possible murder ideas rushing from left to right. Painful? No. Quick. Much drama? Or more natural? What could be the perfect death suiting Armin? Everyone would immediately buy it if he'd be eaten by a titan.

"Argh, I'll just squash him with my titan." Reiner waved and stood up, heading for the door.

"That won't be feasible I fear." Berthold spoke up since a while. Both blondes sent him a questioning glance. The young man was fidgety, uncomfortable with planning a murder, especially since he had gotten along pretty well with Armin. He liked that short kid very much. It was a pity, really.

"Armin told me earlier he had to attend an important meeting with the squad. That's where he will probably tell all the higher ranked ups the identity of the female titan." 

Annie kicked a chair.

"Fuck!" She cursed, now regretting underestimating that boy too much. When his brain created another master plan she was already caught.

"So then a lot of options fall away." Reiner mused, scratching his chin.

"And a lot of time. The meeting's this afternoon." Berthold broke any hopes.

"This afternoon already!?" Reiner spluttered shocked. Berthold apologized in a shrug.

"Ok. Quick thinking now." Reiner bumped his fist into his open palm. Berthold didn't even allow himself to think of a plan. Annie tried, but with seeing Armin's blood covered face, shocked eyes filled with realization and fear. She couldn't. 

She just couldn't kill the poor boy.

"Alright. I have an idea. It's risky, but we don't have much time left." Reiner concluded and attempted to leave the room, probably to prepare his death trap.

"Reiner wait!" She called after him, but hesitating to make her amends.

"Please don't let him suffer unnecessarily." She pleaded sorrowful. Reiner's face darkened coldly.

"I can't promise too much." He replied bitterly and disappeared. 

Annie shook her head and sighed painfully while hugging herself. She hated their actions, with everything she stood for.

"I'm sorry Armin." She chocked, her throat acting sore. Her eyes were dangerously wet and maybe, just maybe one tear even escaped.

She felt herself being taken into a protective embrace and leaned into it.

"I know how hard this is for you." Berthold whispered with a trembling voice. She sniffed into his chest, her height forbidding her to lean her head somewhere higher.

"But it's something we need to do. To protect you. To protect our mission." Berthold reasoned, suddenly sounding more cold hearted than ever. Annie widened her eyes till they burned. Every limb trembling frantically in their embrace.

They were going to murder Armin.

And they had the nerve to tell themselves they were right.


	2. Plan 1.

The sun was low, beaming into his eyes, burning his pale skin.

He shielded his eyes, but it was still too bright. A distant Shilouette, a giant human shape standing against the sun. Blonde hair was waving with the wind. She seemed peaceful. Not like she had murdered a handful of survey cops.

Suddenly one blue eye of her met his. He gasped shocked. Terrified he motioned his horse to run faster.

_Come on..._

He pleaded scared to death. The ground vibrated, it shook to the monstrous feet meeting with the ground. The young man dared to look back, regretting it immediately.

_Hurry! Run, horse, Ruun!_

He urged his horse, wanting it to gallop faster. But the stamps grew louder, the ground shaking heavier. The boy started trembling uncontrollably, fearing the inevitable.

_No. Please. Please noo!_

He cried, sweating like a waterfall.

Suddenly everything stood still. He had a feeling no breath reached into his lungs. His head moved unwillingly to the sky, the gigantic titan passing him.

Then a stomp! A foot blocked his path! The horse shrieked louder than he could! Helplessly the pair tumbled! Everything rumbled!

The boy was catapulted out of his leather saddle, the poor horse who knows where. His back was sore, aching to his loud heart beats. He didn't dare to move, every muscle of his paralyzed.

_Please go..._

He pleaded internally, completely at the mercy of this giant. His heart hammered against the ground. He hurt so much.

Suddenly something pulled at his hoddie.

_Noo..._

At last, he would be eaten by a titan. To what surprise. Surprising was how long he had lasted. Now he would never see his friends again. He wouldn't be a burden anymore.

His knees were lifted up, only his feet laying limp on the ground. When nothing happened, he dared too look into his death.

Teeth bigger than his own head. Lips drawn into a grimace, like a smile. His own breath sounded louder than everything else. His hair was brushed away by her breath.

Her blue cold eyes.

And suddenly everything made sense.

Marco's maneuver gear on Annie. His sudden death without his equipment.

This titan resembled to one of his mysterious friends.

And she spared his life.

_Annie..._

He breathed. The titan opened his mouth, warm wind roaring over his head.

_Armin._

Mentioned boy widened his eyes, the titan moving his lips to say his name. It was Annie's voice.

_Armin!_

Annie sounded desperate. Armin stretched out his hand. What was wrong with her? What was going on inside her head?

Armin!

"Huh?"

Armin lifted his head, papers sticking to his left cheek. Saliva had been drooled out of his mouth. Confused he surveyed his surroundings.

He wasn't in the field, nor in the forest. He was in his dark empty room, sleeping at his desk. He blinked confused and stared at the blank wall in front of him.

"Armin." A female voice, shaking his shoulder. The boy turned his head around.

"Mikasa?" What was she doing here, he wondered. He picked up the papers from his cheek, taking a look at his notes. The notes that had lead him to the secret identity of the female titan.

"You're going to miss your meeting." She answered in her typical emotionless voice. Armin jerked up and jumped of his seat. Barely he grabbed his notes and packed them in his arms.

"Crap I'm gonna be late!" He panicked and rushed out of the room. He didn't even notice stumbling against Eren who was close by following Mikasa to Armin.

"Arm-"

"Sorry!" The blonde boy called to his best friend, racing down the hallway.

Mikasa joined Eren outside the room and like an old couple they looked after the disappearing silhouette of their best friend.

"He slept in?" Eren stated dryly.

"Yap." Mikasa answered, both not moving one muscle until Armin was completely out of sight.

The poor boy ran against countless people, some soldiers shouting enraged at him. Armin apologized all the way through, ducking in shame of his own clumsiness.

He came to a halt when he passed a window. His ocean blue eyes searched for the similar blue sky, scanning the sun. If his calculations were right, he had still enough time to walk to the meeting room. He wasn't exactly in a hurry now that he could tell the time.

"About 3 minutes I guess before the meeting starts. And the room is just about the next corner. I'm gonna be right in time." He mused satisfied. His heart beat calmed down. He ordered his documents properly and sighed relieved.

"Hey Armin." A familiar voice caught him off guard. Internally he screamed, but on the outside he surprisingly stayed very calm.

"Hi Jean." Armin chuckled at the taller soldier. He had to move a few steps back so his neck wouldn't protest during the whole conversation.

"You busy?" Jean stammered, for some reason looking everywhere but at Armin. His body language was kind of fidgety.

"Actually yes. I have to attend a meeting in-" He looked out of the window into the sun.

"-In about two minutes." He became jumpy, wanting to race down the hall. But at the same time he enjoyed Jean's presence too much to neglect him.

"You're joking." Jean pointed at Armin. The younger one tilted his head, frowning about what he was particularly joking about. The meeting?

"I mean that sun thingy you did there." Jean replied embarrassed.

"Oh that. You know we've learned that in training?" Armin left the words in a mocking tone. Jean narrowed his eyes into slits.

"Yeah I know, but I can't read every second of it." He grumbled. Armin laughed softly, a shy colour of red hiding on Jean's face.

"Minutes is the best I can do. My grandfather taught me." He explained. Although they were talking about time, Armin completely forgot about it. He pressed his documents against his chest, wondering why his heart was pounding so violently.

"Erm, you wanna hang out? I mean after that meeting?" Jean spluttered out, scratching the back of his head nervously. A big smile appeared on Armin's face and he almost exploded of happiness.

"Sure! I'd be happy to!" He chortled relieved, his face starting to heat up a little. He noticed a watch in Jean's pocket and fished it out.

One minute till meeting.

"See? I was right." He grinned proudly at his master calculations. Jean laughed and grabbed the pocket watch back.

"Amazing. In the meantime I'll try to find out how you did that." He promised with a sharp grin. Armin snaked past Jean to follow his path to the meeting. He didn't actually fear Erwin or Hanji. He feared Levi...

"Tell me everything about it." Armin mentioned, walking past the brown haired man.

"So we meet at Dinner?" He walked a little bit after Armin, his voice cheerful. Armin thought about messing a little bit with him.

"Let's meet at the well when the sun is on top of the trees." He proposed with a grin. Jean was a little overcharged with this thinking, smiling a little bit dorky.

"Alright..." He stammered. Armin loved how he didn't even question from which angle Armin was talking, it was so cute and naive.

_Tick Tock_

He turned around to walk away, but something bugged him.

"Don't get blind, ok?" He called after Jean, but the bad feeling didn't leave him. His head snapped back to see a dead serious Jean. Jean marched quickly towards him.

_Tick Tock_

Armin stopped confused, his heart racing. Jean was sprinting towards him.

"Armin!"

_Tick_

Armin gasped, his feet lost the security of the ground. He felt being pulled into a strong and safe embrace.

_Tock_

A deafening noise invaded their ears and pulverized their eardrum. Hot air blew both their bodies away, biting their skin and burning the little hairs covering their bodies into ash.

Jean landed on Armin. The boy grunted in pain. His tailbone felt like thousands of needles were piercing through his bones and flesh. Jean's weight on him didn't do any better. He gasped for any air, tried to get rid of the weight. His legs burned unbearably.

He heard Jean on top of him grunting in pain, but he couldn't see him. His head was somewhere hidden behind Armin's shoulder. Jean's hair was tickling his nose, blood dripping next to his eyes.

He didn't hear the footsteps nearing them. Someone freed Armin of the crushing weight. He immediately crawled away, trembling uncontrollably.

"Are you ok?" One soldier asked and held him between his shoulders. Armin's gaze was blurry. His eyes shifted confused, not able to fixate on anything.

He heard Jean squirming in pain. His neck snapped around, a sharp pain shooting through his spine.

"Jean!"

He fell towards his friend, his knees hurting when they met with the ground. He placed his hands on Jean's shoulders. The back of his head was hurt, but his back was the worst part. Splinters were sticking out in random formations, like a nasty picture. Not even his thighs had been spared.

"Every...thi...ng... h...urts..." Jean pressed out behind gritted teeth. Armin caressed the wound on his head, fear gnawing on him.

"He needs a doctor." Armin cried desperately and knew Jean wasn't capable of going himself. Armin pushed himself up on his shaking legs. They hurt, why did they hurt so much?

He needed to bring him there himself. Though his legs had other plans. He stumbled, catching himself with his left leg. The left leg gave up, so his right leg had to step in, but of course it couldn't hold the weight of his whole weak body. Before Armin met the ground he was caught under his armpits, his legs hanging limp to the ground.

"I'll bring them to the sickbay. Got anyone else hurt?"

Armin blinked a few times before lifting his exhausted eyes.

"Reiner?" He breathed irritated. What was he doing here? Probably like the other soldiers he was nearby and rushed to survey the scene. Whatever had happened, Armin didn't get to realize.

Why was Jean hurt? Why did his whole body ache? What was that ringing in his head, hindering him to understand the conversations properly.

Suddenly he was lifted up. He grunted when his stomach met a hard shoulder.

"Come on Jean." The blonde man urged the hurt boy. He tried to pick him up, but he was too heavy. Reiner grabbed him under his armpits. Barely conscious Jean leaned at Reiner. Together they slowly walked to the medic's room, Armin like a potato sack on Reiner's right shoulder secured.

Instead of feeling bad, useless, like a burden, Armin was actually glad to have this pause. Now he could sorten his distressed mind and understand what had happened.

He had been walking through the hallway. Something had been ticking, followed by hot burning air throwing them both away. Splinters in Jean's flesh.

An explosion. There must've been a bomb disposed in the room he would've passed by. If Jean wouldn't have jumped in and shielded him...

Jean had saved his life and now he was badly injured. Bad feelings flooded him, killing every logical sense of him.

"Jean..." He whimpered sorrowful. Jean didn't even acknowledge him. He was trapped in a world full of pain. And it was Armin's fault. Why did Jean feel the need to protect him?

The trio arrived in an empty room with only two beds and one window in the middle. Jean fell down on his stomach and grunted in pain. His breaths were sharp, he winced when he finally relaxed on the comfy mattress.

"Ow." He whimpered bitterly. Armin started trashing, giving Reiner a hard time.

"Oy Armin! Hold o-oh!"

Armin broke out of Reiner's hold and fell on his knees. Despite the throbbing pain he crawled towards Jean's bed and laid his head down. He sighed painfully. His hand moved towards Jean's face, grimaced by pain.

"Oh Jean. You idiot." He whimpered and pushed away his hair.

Reiner ovserved the scene in horror. He could kill the boy. That's why he had volunteered to bring both to the sickbay. As a second chance. His first plan to blast Armin with a bomb obviously didn't work. So now was his chance. Jean wouldn't even notice, he was too damaged from protecting Armin.

He breathed in shakily.

Then his hands laid down on Armin's shoulders, but very close to his fragile neck. He could break it like a twig.

"R-reiner?" Armin froze, his lip starting to tremble. The touch was very uncomfortable to him.

Suddenly Jean opened his eyes. To narrow slits, but he saw Armin, his distressed face with Reiner's hands near to his neck.

Now he had to kill him, too, right? He could manage.

The door burst open, nurses rushing in with the doctor in tow. So many witnessers. He wasn't in private anymore. He couldn't kill five people. Impossible.

He relaxed his arms, his pranks not feeling that heavy on Armin's shoulders anymore.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Armin, ok? He chose to protect you." He spoke soothing words instead.

Armin calmed down. Tears escaped his eyes, falling into his lap. Every sob burned his sore throat. He let himself get picked up by Reiner and be placed onto a bed.

"What are you doing?" He asked irritated. On the left side of the room Jean was already being treated by the paramedics.

Reiner motioned his head for Armin to look at his own legs. His leggings was burned. Splinters and cuts marked his red legs.

Armin widened his eyes, now realizing why it had been so hard to stand.

"He couldn't possibly protect your legs." Reiner nodded his head to the unconscious Jean. Armin swallowed hard. His legs looked awful, but it was nothing that couldn't get fixed.

"You should stay here and wait for your turn." Reiner decided for the smaller boy. Armin nodded absently. He was right. There wasn't much of an option anyway. His legs bled and hurt, he couldn't walk anywhere, only crawl to the door and collapse.

Reiner turned around and headed for the exit. He needed to tell his comrades about his failure.

A weak tug on his jacket and he froze in his motions.

"Reiner." Armin croaked exhausted.

"I had an important meeting to attend to. Can you please inform Commander Erwin about the incident?"

Reiner left the quest rotate in his brain, but eventually nodded.

"Sure. I'll do it. We don't want you to miss it, right?" He replied with a genuine grin. Armin smiled weakly, but relieved.

"Thank you Reiner. Thank you very much."

Quickly he turned his head away so he wasn't forced to look at Armin. He felt guilty, dirty. But he was doing the right thing, wasn't he? Ashamed he left the room. He headed for his comrades. There was no way he'd tell the commander what had happened.

Armin didn't look after Reiner when he left the room. He just sighed and watched the work of the doctors, Jean's limp body on the bed.


	3. Plan 2.

"How you failed?!"

Reiner slumped his shoulders, merely shrugging. His eyes were glued to the ground. Annie had her fists stemmed on her hips. She crunched her teeth in anger.

"He survived the explosion." He squeaked, still not looking at Annie. Berthold hid in a dark corner, not daring to make a sound.

"You tried to kill Armin with an explosion? You brought this on your own." She mocked him with a groan and crossed her arms. She turned around, her eyes traveling over Berthold, who flinched nervously.

"Well go try and kill him better." Reiner dared to retort. Annie immediately turned around, Reiner backing away. Alarming screams of regret were flooding his brain.

"Whose fault was it that Marco had to die?" She screamed at him enraged. Reiner ducked in shame. Maybe if he didn't breath it would end sooner.

"And now tell me, on whose hands is his blood?" She whispered, her throat protesting and her eyes watering. She blinked upcoming tears away.

"I'm sorry." Reiner mumbled sincerely sorry. Annie scanned him, but let her resentment drop.

"Save my identity. Do what you must, but just do it." Annie sighed and headed for the door. She left the building without looking back to return to the inner walls.

"We need to get rid of Armin. Especially before he tells anyone. He himself is a ticking time bomb." Reiner concluded, both his hands locked on his chin. Berthold nodded and finally stepped out of the shadows. 

"He has too many friends he can tell about. With Armin's death these friends could actually persuade the higher ranked ups to check after Annie." Berthold mused concerned. Reiner gulped. This situation was slowly getting out of his hands.

He stood up, Berthold stumbling back.

"Berthold. Go spy on Armin and make sure he doesn't slip information or attend a meeting. I'll try to find a way to... You know." And Berthold did know. He lowered his head and hesitated to agree. Reiner laid a big prank on his shoulder.

"I don't like it either, but it's something we need to do." He sighed sorrowful.

"We agreed on being warriors back then. We're not like them. Be happy about it." He spoke determined and walked out of the room. Berthold glanced after him.

"I know Reiner, I know. But it still feels so wrong." He murmured to himself before leaving to find Armin.

* * *

The trio slowly moved forward, Armin leaning for Eren's support.

"Thank you Eren. And I'm sorry to burden you-" Armin stammered with a soft smile.

"Cut it out Armin. You got hit by a bomb. No one expects you to walk alone on bandaged legs." Eren interrupted, a typical tone of anger underlining his words. Armin lowered his gaze. Why was Eren always so full of hate? Sure, he lost his mother, but he wasn't the only one. Everyone had at least lost one important person. Seems like everyone dealt differently with a loss.

"Why was a bomb though deposed in that room?" Armin mused to himself. Mikasa shot him a worried glance, but stayed quiet most of the time.

"Maybe someone actually tried to murder Armin!" Eren brought up his theory with enthusiasm. Mikasa glared at him, fearing he could scare their little nestling, but Armin had developed into a hard nut to crack.

"Cut out your conspiracy theories. Bring up logical ideas." Armin scolded his best friend. Eren scanned his friend insulted, not noticing Mikasa's attempts to shut him up.

"Why are my theories unreasonable? Armin has a clever brain and sharp mind. He's actually pretty dangero-OW!" Eren earned a hit from Mikasa and fell, dragging a squeaking Armin with him to the ground. The two started arguing like an old couple, but Armin spaced out.

What had Eren just said? Clever brain? Sharp mind? Jean used to call Marco things like that. Marco died, without his maneuver gear. His maneuver gear was with Annie. The female Titan.

Could it be-

"Hey Armin, you don't really think that bomb was an accident?" Eren searched for support. Armin viewed up confused, not really interested in their dispute.

"Where's Annie?" He questioned out of the blue. Mikasa scrunched her teeth, her eyebrows moving down in the middle. Eren scrutinized his friend confused, lifting one eyebrow. No one moved a muscle.

"Annie is behind Wall Sina where she belongs to." 

Immediately Armin and Eren jumped up and saluted next to Mikasa.

"Corporal!" They called out in unison. Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance. Eren already had a concerned look on his face, but this time Levi wasn't coming for him.

"Arlert. Where have you been yesterday? We've been awaiting you." He directed at the fragile blond boy, who didn't hide his confusion.

"Didn't Reiner inform you?" He mumbled confused more to himself than to Levi.

"No one informed us. We waited for ten minutes until we heard of another emergency." Levi explained with gritted teeth. Armin owed him a big excuse if he wanted to get another chance to share his thoughts. After all he was still a rookie. No young cadet had ever received such privileges like him.

"Corporal-" Eren spoke up, but Levi shhhed him. He wanted to hear Armin and no one would cover him for his mistakes. Levi already smiled internally, since he had prepared a good list of punishments in the long time they had waited for Armin.

Armin crossed his arms behind his back, not showing any concerns.

"I was disabled." He spoke up, completely calm.

"Probably due to the same emergency, the explosion in hallway 13." 

He explained. It was a mystery to him how they realized the explosion this late, that they had to wait 10 minutes. Though Armin could imagine that everyone thought of the loud bang as an invention of Hanji.

Levi immediately widened his eyes surprised. He counted two and two together.

"You were one of the cadets to get hurt by the explosion?" He spluttered out. Armin simply nodded.

"The other one was Jean Kirschtein. He protected me, or else I'd be still lying in the paramedics." Actually he would lie in a grave, because without Jean he would've been exactly next to the door where the explosion had happened.

Levi mused to himself.

"Corporal, do you know what caused the explosion?" Eren asked cautiously, since they hadn't received informations on that. Levi hesitated, but nodded.

"It was a malfunctioning invention of Hanji that caught on fire of a candle." He deadpanned, emotionless as ever.

Mikasa shot Eren a knowing glance, who dodged her eyes as good as possible. 

Armin tried to breath out relieved. Of course that must've been a logical explanation. Hanji's ideas always used to be dangerous. And she was clumsy enough to forget a candle. But it had been early afternoon. She wouldn't have needed a candle. Also Armin had visited her earlier before the meeting (she really was working on a new maschine), but the invention seemed to suck in dust and trapp it inside a sack. How could that end into such a murderous explosion? 

No, it was sabotage. It must've been. Levi must be knowing this, too. He wasn't that oblivious. Mikasa and Eren easily bought it. Armin exchanged a look with the Corporal. Levi froze, realizing he couldn't fool everyone.

"Armin. I still think we need to have a talk." He hid his actual intentions, but Armin understood anyway.

"Agreed." He answered laconic. They set up another meeting before their ways parted again. 

"Eren, I'll be fine." Armin answered when they offered to stay in his room till the beginning of the meeting. Levi understood the importance of the current situation, so the meeting was supposed to be in half an hour. 

"Are you sure? Your legs-" Armin pushed both his friends out of his room. He needed time to think and with Eren incapable of shutting his mouth this wouldn't work. 

"Go." He urged them and grabbed the door.

"But we could-" 

Armin closed the door and shut both out. 

"Meet at dinner again." He finished Eren's sentence. He waited until he heard them finally leaving. He sighed relieved and slid down the door. He held his head and laughed.

This was ridiculous. Could it really be Annie trying to kill him? But she was behind wall Sina. 

Suddenly he lifted his head.

The colossal and the armored titan. They must be titan shifters as well. They are helping Annie keeping her identity secret. So would it be someone from the military police or... Most probably the cadets of his year.

He remembered Reiner and got to think of his very weird actions. For example the time with the female titan. How she changed her direction to Armin's predictions of Eren's whereabouts. Furthermore Reiner's sudden appearance yesterday after the explosion and his hands on his neck- Could it be...?

_Click._

Armin blinked taken aback.

"What the?" He jumped up and opened his door, but it wouldn't budge. His door had been locked from the outside. 

"Hey!" He hammered against the wood and screamed for help.

"Hey! Open the door!" 

He looked at the clock. The meeting was about to start. How long had he been spacing out again?

"Not this time." Armin mumbled determined. With brute force he wouldn't get out of his room. The window was to high, he would rather jump into his death. He spotted a metal stick and picked the scrap up.

"Maybe with that I can pick the lock." He mused determined. After minutes of trying, nothing worked. He started to wonder if this someone had also blocked his door with furnitures. 

"Alright, maybe a little bit force could help." He gave in and threw the scrap metal away. 

He scanned the door. It would be most affective to kick the door down under the doorknob, this way the weakest part would break in. 

He positioned his body and slammed his strong foot with full force. It didn't work, not to mention Armin wasn't too strong, he was also wounded. He crashed to the ground and cried in pain. His tailbone started hurting again much harder and his white leggins turned slowly into a shy shade of red.

"Fuck!" He cursed shocked, having made the situation even worse than it used to be.

"Fuck!" Armin stood up and searched for a pair of bandage, but only found enough to cover his pinkie finger. 

"Crap." He sighed and leaned down against the wall where he cooled his fuming head. He was too late for the meeting. He'd missed it again. 

But he wouldn't give up. Even if the door would never open, he wouldn't just sit there and wait to be rescued.

He grabbed the stick of metal and moved to the door.

* * *

Loud footsteps echoed through the hallway. A short silhouette was passing windows after windows.

He was furious. He was angry and worse, he was worried. The way Eren used to describe his friends, Armin didn't seem like the irresponsible unreasonable child. So why did he act like this? He wanted to attend a meeting. Was it so hard to get there? Seriously!

Levi stopped at some time and frowned. Geez, he was walking for such a long time. How was this possible? He had double checked the map for Armin's room, he should've been there since a good while. So why did he keep on walking and walking?

Levi turned around and walked back. This was hopeless. First the boy didn't appear to his meeting, then he finds out he was caught by an explosion inside the building. And now he completely vanished, including his room! 

Levi detected a tired scrapping. He held his breath to hear better where it was coming from.

The closet?

Levi opened the furniture. It was empty. Obviously. Still there was a scraping noise. Suddenly it rang a bell in him. Maybe, just maybe...

He grunted as he pushed away the heavy wooden closet. His apprehension were proven to be right. Behind the closet was a lonely door hidden. The scraping became louder. 

He gasped when he opened the door. He had expected it to be locked, but from the looks like, the young boy trapped in the room had seen to that. Armin blinked up surprised, the piece of metal in his hands. His eyes were crimson red. Desperate tears marked shame on his cheeks. Life returned to his eyes.

"Corporol?" He whimpered quietly. Levi went on his knees to be on the same height. Only then he saw the red stains on Armin's white leggins.

"Oh kid, what have you done?" He gasped and inspected the body for further injuries. Armin laughed sickly.

"I was a little desperate dummy, trying to get out with brute force. Forgot my legs were still injured of yesterday." He giggled. Levi closed his mouth, he was speechless. How long had this boy tried to break out of the room?

"I think a little more time and I would've cracked the lock." Armin murmured with conviction. Levi tilted his head in confusion.

"What lock, the door was already open. There was a closet blocking the entrance." Levi explained, planning how he could get Armin quickly to the doctors again.

Armin widened his eyes.

"Oh." His mouth formed into small o. He realized he would've never gotten out only by picking the lock.

Levi grabbed the boy under his armpits and lifted him up. He was glad that the boy wasn't much taller than him, still he was very fragile and weighed almost nothing.

"I missed the meeting, didn't I?" He sobbed, stumbling like a drunken man in his hold.

"Don't worry, the meeting doesn't matter for now." Levi said, concentrating not to crash with the boy. Armin merely nodded. They passed soldiers who threw concerned glances at them, but Levi was good at ignoring them.

"They are trying to kill me." Armin mentioned at one point all of a sudden. Levi stopped abruptly, Armin hurling down to the ground.

"What did you just say?" Levi recaptured surprised.

"Huh?" Armin blinked up to him, as if Levi was asking him why a titan was dancing the hula with the horse on the roof.

"Who are they?" Levi specified his question. Armin groaned exhausted.

"The heck I know." He tried to push himself up, but failed miserably. His next plan was to take a nap on the ground. Levi quickly pulled him up.

"But you do know something? That's why they want to kill you, isn't it?" Levi tried carefully to bring Armin back to talking.

Suddenly life turned back in those ocean blue eyes. He checked his right and left, like a child before crossing the street. Next he limped to the paramedic's room, Levi supporting him.

"Please, we don't need any help with that." He declined the nurse's help to treat his legs and closed the door firmly. Levi meanwhile fished out some bandages.

"Remember the female titan?" Armin finally spoke up. Levi snorted unamused.

"How could I ever forget her." He was reminded of the very unsuccessful survey mission they had lead. He had to excuse a lot of victims.

"She's the reason I want to attend the meeting. I think I know her identity." 

Levi jumped up from his comfy seat on the bed and widened his eyes. Stay calm, stay professional.

"You think?" He questioned sceptically.

Armin looked away, still leaning at the door.

"I think I know, but I'm getting more certain by every passing minute."

Levi let one hand travel through his dark hair, sighing relieved. Armin's strength passed, so he walked to the bed and fell on it.

"I'm starting to doubt that I'll survive the meeting or even the way there." Armin mentioned and Levi turned his head to the boy. Was he giving up?

"So here goes nothing. My bet's on A-"

"Hold on right there!" Levi interrupted him, cursing himself internally. This wasn't like him and this was stupid.

"You should tell them yourself in the next meeting." He said, biting his lip in regret.

Armin lifted his head, blinking confused.

"You know that's stupid?" The words hit Levi right in the gut.

"The chances of me surviving are much lower than you'd do." He explained reasonably. Of course he was right. Stop acting like a child and ask the kid for the secret identity.

"Till now you've done pretty well." Levi answered instead. Armin sighed shakily and hid his head, his hands hiding in his blond mane. Levi was right, but he couldn't keep this up anymore. 

Jean got badly injured, Mikasa hurt her head when they visited him in the hospital. Part of the roof crashed down and missed the spot he had been standing seconds ago. Coincidence? 

Yesterday he had also wanted to check the closet for bandages, since he had none in his room. Eren went for him and almost got squashed by the heavy furniture.

"Levi, I can't keep this up." He whispered, desperation underlining his sobs. He was too exhausted to keep up any formalities, which was pretty unnatural.

"I can't let them hurt my friends." 

Levi moved to the bed and sat beside the boy. He was the adult. Maybe he wasn't one of the sentimental kind, but some sort of elderly advice he could get somewhere.

Nope. No chance, but he tried.

"Wait. You said again them. I thought this was about the female titan?" He took notice of surprised. Armin glanced at him, and Levi didn't like these smart eyes scanning him. He was on a totally different level.

"Isn't it obvious? Which two other abnorms do we know?" It seemed he didn't want to give Levi the whole pie, but luckily he understood good enough.

"Colossal and Armor. Of course." He facepalmed himself softly. 

"They already murdered Marco who saw through them as well." Armin mentioned casually. Levi noticed he was still trying to get over the death of a good friend.

"Do you have proof or is this all a hunch?" Levi asked calmly, his gaze directed towards the door. Armin hesitated to answer.

"It could be both. But I already have a plan to find out. Or at least an idea for a plan." He scratched the back of his head. Nevertheless the Corporal heard the outlines of determination.

Levi glanced at him.

"Tch." 

That was his way to smile and say he's proud of him. You couldn't get more of him.

"Alright. I'll include our titan shifter and his bodyguard to the meeting. It'll be tomorrow, right in the morning." He stood up to wrap things up.

"You stay here for the night, but I'll let some soldiers patro-"

"No." Armin declined politely.

"They'll get suspicious. The staff should be enough." Every friend of him could be endangered, Armin kept in mind. Levi scrutinized him carefully, from head to toe.

"Don't blow this up for us, Arlert. Survive." Levi demanded. Armin nodded confidently, even going this far to promise it.

"Corporal."

Levi turned around to Armin before completely leaving the room. The kid stayed mute until he closed the door again.

"I have a plan."

Levi, with his hands casually in his pockets, waited until the epic music disappeared.

"A plan for what?" He asked irritated. Armin blinked a few times, but caught himself.

"A plan to discover the other identities as well."

Levi actually smiled satisfied. He grabbed a chair and sat down, leaning his arms on the rest and crossing one leg over the other.

"Go ahead."


	4. Plan 3.

Ocean blue eyes slowly fluttered open. Surprisingly he had had an impeccable sleep, considering every moment could be his very last.

Armin pushed himself up and slurred tiredly to the sink. The mirror showed an exhausted boy, pale face and dark eye bags. Probably from all the stress. 

He pulled the water tap, but it refused to do his job. So no washing face or having a drink. As if it could change anything in his appearance.

He forced himself into his clothes. His brown leather jacket stood next to a glass of water. He picked it up and scanned the liquid with a saddened expression. When he turned his head to the right, he saw the scrawny worthless appearance of himself.

The mirror splattered into millions of shards when the glass of water met it.

"Screw you!" Armin cried, tears building up in his sparkling blue eyes. He clawed at his head and pulled at blond strands of hair. His face looked even more devastating in the damaged mirror. He gasped terrified from his own image.

"Screw you." He muttered in realization. No doubt the water had been poisoned. Everywhere he went death was lurking for him. 

"You want me dead?" Armin giggled sickly, his eyes burning from the lack of blinks. He picked up a lonely shard.

"You want me dead so badly?" He sobbed at his miserable reflection. His trembling hand moved to his exposed wrist. He never had any troubles with the acceptance of suicide thoughts.

"I can give you a hand with that." Literally, he thought bitterly amused. The cold shard touched his skin, shivers running down his spine. One strong strike, that's everything needed. Don't expect life to get any easier on you.

_Can I count on you?_

A deep strong voice, that left no place for insecurity.

_I promise, corporal._

He mouthed, struck by realization. What did he think he was doing right now! Ending his own annoying life for the better good?

Maybe he was okay in taking his own crappy life, but he was not fine to let his last action be disobeying an order. 

No. He wouldn't give in.

He wouldn't hand his secret enemies their sick victory. Not after all of his friends had to suffer in his name. To protect him.

Armin dropped the shard to the ground. Immediately he searched for a broom to eliminate the visual remains of his slight outburst. 

He didn't found any, so he returned to his more immediate goal. Making it in one piece to the meeting.

Ashamed he left the rampaged room as a bad surprise for the stuff and entered the hallway (after checking right and left carefully of course).

Nothing unusual happened here, nor did any soldiers eye him suspiciously. It felt almost weird, like Armin suspected two or three traps to threaten his life. 

The calmness tasted like a warning. 

The more casual this morning was, the more Armin started to savour these moments. Maybe the last moments he had left.

A hand halted him. He feared for the worst.

"Jean?" Armin turned around, relieved to see a familiar face.

"I'm glad you're ok." Armin resisted the urge to hug his friend. The angel on his shoulder advised him to do it now before never. The devil whispered malicious things. 

_Maybe he wants you dead? Who wouldn't want it?_

Armin bit his lip, debating whom he could trust now. He could hit his head against the next wall. Jean had suffered to protect Armin from an explosion. Why would he set it up and save him?

"Armin what is going on? I heard you still haven't been able to attend your meeting because of incidents happening to you? Eren is blabbering something about 'Assassination A', Mikasa and Levi are tense most of time, so you will tell me right now what's going on." Jean demanded right away. He couldn't hide his concern even if he tried to. 

"I see you're still wearing bandages." Armin spotted the white fabric sticking out of his clothes. Jean grabbed both shoulders of Armin and held him tightly. Armin slightly gasped.

"Don't you dodge my question, Arlert. I heard Mikasa and the suicidal fanatic are joining the meeting."

Armin cringed mildly. Eren was his friend, he didn't really appreciate the name calling nor the fights. This also meant he held a grudge against Eren as well for calling Jean horseface, although it was pretty accurate.

"I'm worried Armin." Jean confessed, softening his grip. Armin found an honest smile. He put one hand over Jean's.

"There's no need to be. You've already done enough. You all did, but the rest is now up to me." Armin answered. He was aware he was talking in riddles in Jean's point of view.

Jean sighed. He was familiar with the recklessness. Seeing himself often in similar actions he needed to tolerate Armin's decision. Never meant he appreciated it.

"Fine, but tell me at least what's going on." Jean sighed in defeat and scratched his neck with a crooked grin on his face. Armin felt himself nearly melting away, concluding this wasn't a fair move of Jean. 

"It's- I won't tell you." Armin caught himself. Jean's smile dropped.

"But you tell everyone else?" He snapped offended.

"I didn't tell anyone, Jean. Not even the corporal knows. It is safer this way." Armin revealed sorrowful.

"For _whom_? For _whom_ it is safer?" Jean bit back, trying to keep his voice down. "Cause I bet not for you." 

Armin forced up a smile. "As long as the ones important to me are safe, it doesn't really matter." He replied. Jean stemmed his hands on his hips and laughed lightly, looking everywhere but at Armin.

"And how am I supposed to protect you?" 

Armin frowned and backed away. What was that now supposed to mean?

"Who said I need protection? You had your fair share a few days ago-"

" _Fair share_?" Jean laughed, as if Armin was acting ridiculous.

_Jean! Avenge the bastard who rushed into his death!_

Armin had freaking lied to an active titan shifter to save Jean. The titan could've easily smashed her mighty fist on Armin for fooling her and revealing the connection of the same training year. Not that anyone would've noticed beside him.

It didn't matter now. 

Armin didn't feel the need to bring that up. In fact, he rather felt to end this conversation right now and head straight to the meeting. 

"I guess this is settled then." Armin responded dryly, hurt by the missing acknowledgement. He turned around, again halted by this strong hand. Armin ripped his arm away from his grip.

"Armin I didn't-"

"I don't want your pity. I am sick of everyone looking down on me." Armin spat suddenly. He didn't want to expand this conversation. He didn't want to feel.

"No one is looking down on you." Jean said, ironically looking down to Armin since they were particularly near. Armin raised one eyebrow.

"Ok, wait. You know what I mean. This, all, oh it's awkward-" Jean stammered helplessly.

"I understand well enough." Armin said disappointed. There was nothing left to say. Indifferently Armin delivered his goodbye and left his friend standing alone in between wildly chattering soldiers. He had more important business to attend to.

Jean looked after his secret crush.

"Good job, fucking idiot." Jean praised himself after watching the silhouette leave. He should probably leave Armin alone right now. 

"God fucking dammit." He cursed when his body unintentionally set moving after the boy.

Armin hesitated, even drew his arm back before knocking. 

He had made it. 

He really made it to the meeting. 

The first victory out of many. He was aware it was a granted victory. The booby trap waited inside the room. Armin had no idea what the challenge would be, but he was ready to improvise.

He longed to be the strong one. Being the protector instead of being on the other side like always. By discovering Annie's identity they could secure her. Lock her away. Maybe even discover her motives and companions. That was the best he could do. Securing Annie was for persons like Levi, Mikasa, Eren, heck, everyone but him. 

Seeing that he was the reason for the meeting, the main attraction, it appeared ridiculous for him to knock. He grabbed the handle, swallowed, shortly knocked and opened the door. He was always so... Always such an Armin. Why couldn't he be like Jean or Eren?

Everyone was already waiting for him at the large table. Commander Erwin sat at the the top, Levi and Hanji to his sides. Armin was surprised that even Hanji had a serious composure. 

On the left side were important persons of the Garrison military. Armin recognized Pixis and Keith Shadis.

On the right side of the table were his friends Mikasa and Eren seated. They probably didn't know what the cause for this occasion was, which explained their nervousness.

"Please Arlert, take a seat." Commander Erwin spoke up and pointed to the an empty seat on the other side of the table. Armin gulped, realizing he would be facing their commander and his right hands.

"We are very curious regarding your extraordinary discovery." 

Armin took Erwin's time to speak to make himself comfortable on his chair. He realized the height of the table was pretty mean. You would've thought they would've seen to that since they had Levi, but this table was way too high to sit comfortably. Armin looked over to Levi, seeing even he had his problems.

"Normally we don't use this room-" Hanji picked up on the shortest two exchanging glances. "-but Levi informed us of the circumstances and the importance of privacy during this conversation."

Pretty smart to choose the most unfitting room then, Armin had to admit.

"It's all good." Armin croaked, feeling his throat getting raspy. He hadn't had a drink this morning, hoping he could last until he delivered the news. Poisoned water was the least he needed right now.

"Okay, mind anyone telling us what's going on right now?" Fidgety Eren broke the wall, Mikasa next to him nodding slightly embarrassed.

"Your friend here found out the human identity of our female titan." Levi answered, running out of patience. Like expected the news ended in chaos.

"What?!" Kitz bellowed and jumped up. Pixis, probably already having drowned a few drinks, chuckled in amusement of his neighbor. Mikasa threatened to, and Armin quotes, kill that stupid bitch. 

Eren's reaction was probably the most concerning one. Being his friend since their childhood, Armin was used to him often being loud. But now, he froze. His eyes were torn apart, his mouth slightly opened to a gape. No sound escaped his lips. 

"Before we speak any names that could lead us to inappropriate accusations, do you have any proof or evidence?" Erwin said calmly. Of course the three leaders had been informed to today's topic. 

"Like, good proof. Waterproof. Better. Like bulletproof-"

"We get it four eyes." Levi stopped Hanji's blabbering. The situation was too tense for anyone to smile at that. Shortly after all eyes were back on Armin.

"Y-yes. I do have proof that strengthens my hunch." 

"You said hunch now?" Erwin recorded strictly. Armin's palms were sweaty.

"Uh, well yes. If you expect 'bulletproof' evidence of me having seen her transforming herself before my eyes, I need to disappoint you." Armin coughed a little, hoping it would help the dryness of his throat.

"Go on." Erwin urged him.

"The first thing that appeared odd to me is in connection to a cadet's death, Marco Bodt." Armin started. 

"Yes, I remember him." Keith interrupted. "He was a good kid, made it to the military. Sadly got slaughtered by a titan in the battle. Sorry, please continue."

Armin suppressed a gasp at the respect Keith could actually show. He still saw him as the strict trainer that shouted at his face, drops of saliva marking him ashamed.

"In fact, Marco was eaten only to half. This left us to a disturbing investigation. Marco wasn't wearing his maneuver gear when he died. That was the first mistake the killers made." Armin watched the shocked expressions. Only Levi was aware of the plural of killers.

"The second was directly made by the female titan. Since Marco and I had repaired his gear together, step by step, I recognize every little detail, every single scratch. She was wearing Marco's gear." He revealed.

"Is it possible you could confuse yourself here and actually be wrong?" Levi brought up. 

"The chances are against zero." Armin countered back confidently.

"It is true. Armin has always had a very detail observation gift." Mikasa supported him. Armin smiled and nodded at her.

"But why should she wear his maneuver gear in the first place, I don't see the connection." Pixis spoke up in a serious demeanor.

"Easy. Marco found out. Titan shifter killed the witnesser. The only thing that went wrong was the remaining corpse, am I right?" Levi glanced over to Armin.

"Indeed." Armin agreed.

"Further proof was discovered on our last expedition. Due to the female titan I lost my horse and was grounded. Instead of killing me ruthlessly like the other scouts it observed my face. She must've recognized me and let me live."

"How is that? Why would she spare your life?" Levi asked curiously. 

"It could be easily explained in underestimating me, but given our good connection it is more likely she didn't want to kill me." Armin replied. He wanted to give away her identity and be on the safe side, but without enough proof the name was useless. They couldn't just arrest a military soldier of the inner walls because of one Scout's hunch.

"The next time I came in contact with her was alongside Jean Kirschtein and Reiner Braun. We foolishly attended to fight her, in order to prevent her from killing further scouts. Obviously we failed, almost paying with our lives." Armin stopped to cough, his eyes shifting longingly to the glass of water in front of him. She couldn't have possibly poisoned it, could she?

"Jean went straight for the neck, ignoring the abnormal intelligence of the titan. She covered her neck and positioned her fist to kill him."

"Why wouldn't she kill you, but him, if you were in the same year?" Hanji threw in.

"He isn't really the most likeable person." Eren gladly answered, Armin ignoring his words annoyed. 

"I distracted the titan with a lie. It seemed very obvious it was after Eren. In addition I controlled my hunch by using Eren's nickname that is only known by the cadets of the 104th unit." Armin told the group.

"Please tell me it was something nice." Eren whispered to his best friend since they sat nearest to each other.

"Eren, I legitimately screamed _Avenge the bastard who rushed into his death_." Armin confessed, not even feeling guilty. 

"That seems accurate." Mikasa prompted to Armin's support.

"I wholeheartedly agree." Levi added with the same amount of emotion like the other Ackerman at the table.

"Come on..." Eren whined offended and settled into depressed silence.

"Anyways. Jean survived, her hesitation supported my suspicion and Reiner brought us out of there."

Armin mused at the memory. First Reiner wanted to know Eren's location (and he foolishly revealed it) and after he freed himself from the titans grip, suddenly it turns and heads for the centre. But first the titan was looking for Eren in the direction Reiner had marked in his plan. 

No.

No it can't be.

No.

Stay focused Armin. We don't have enough proof for that new hunch.

"I trust the kid." Levi said all of a sudden. 

"What brings you to that conclusion?" Erwin requested curiously.

"He presented us a good and confident observation. He tested his suspicion before spreading rumors. And as far as I'm concerned, his brain is his sharpest weapon." Levi finished. Armin felt uncomfortable, listening how they talked about him in his actual presence.

"It's true. He was far ahead in every theoretical part of the training than any other cadet." Of all persons Keith added. The trio was surprised how different Keith was in presence of the higher ranked ups.

"The reconquest of Wall Rose was an excellent idea. Extraordinary? Yes. Risky? By all means. But it was successful. Armin isn't like any other individual. He sees things, I mean there are plenty of smart people. But I never met one like Armin." Pixis supported into the conversation. 

They were serious. They were debating on him being trustworthy. They didn't want him to feel better unlike his friends always did. They actually meant every single word.

"Are you good?" Hanji broke out of their discussion when she noticed Armin wiping a small tear drop rapidly away. 

"Oh, ehm, yeah. It's just-" Armin saw Mikasa and Eren smile so happily and proud.

"-thanks. It's really nice." Armin replied embarrassed. 

"As far as I'm concerned it's the truth." Erwin concluded with a soft smile. Relief spread through Armin. 

He made it.

He really made it. Without any problems, interruptions. 

"So-" Levi straightened up. "-Who is this mysterious titan shifter?"

There is a reason why you should never celebrate before it's actually not over. Armin knew that of course. In this case, he simply had forgotten to mention the name at one point. Well, whatever bad karma was kicking in, it wasn't only jeopardizing the whole mission. No, also his own life. And probably everyone else's lives as well.

"The fe-" Armin was interrupted by a coughing fit. His throat was raspy and dry after talking this much without having water since a few hours.

"It's-" He tried again, but his throat was forbidding any further conversations. Tears built up in his eyes.

"A-" Tear drops rolled down his cheeks, he started to cough more often than he sucked in breaths.

"Maybe you should drink some water Armin." Ironically his best friend took his glass and held it onto his lips. Armin grabbed the glass with both hands. It burned coldly in his sweaty palms.

"Drink" Eren encouraged him.

Armin felt the taste of the liquid on his lips. It was water. Of course. 

But there was something else mixed in. It tasted bitter and sweet at the same time. 

Armin would not drink that. 

But what other choice did he have? Take another glass. No doubt everything was poisoned. As the enemy, a missing Levi or Mikasa would be a lucky bonus.

In his distress he totally ignored to be worried the others could've already drank of the water.

_Armin isn't like any other individual. He sees things, I mean there are plenty of smart people. But I never met one like Armin._

Armin froze for a moment. His mind stopped working, the noises vanished. The words circled in his brain, without expressing any meaning. And suddenly his muscles jumped into action.

He lifted the glass.

And drank.

_Clonk_.

The full glass was set back on the table. Armin felt Eren's palm caressing his shoulder.

"Better now?"

With the back of his hand Armin wiped away the wet remains of his drink. He nodded. 

Erwin observed the two, his eyes landing on the empty and unused glass of his. He didn't notice the looks Armin shot at him. The desperate plead in his sparkling blue eyes.

"Wait Erwin, let me do that." Levi jumped up before Erwin could reach for the jug. He grabbed it with his left hand, which resulted all of a sudden in a loud crash.

The soldiers jumped up and backed away from the ugly table, that was now leaking water from every edge.

"Whoops, must've slipped my hands." Levi deadpanned, staring at the shards with no surprise written in his face.

"And you're calling me a klutz?" Hanji hissed from the other side, waving the water off her hands. The two fell almost into a childish like fight.

"Enough!" Erwin snapped, pounding his palms on the table. "The name! I need a name!" He commanded impatiently at Armin. 

The glass shattered into million little fragments, slipping out of his limp fingers.

"Armin?" Eren neared his best friend concerned. Armin's ocean blue eyes were torn wide open. His pale hand clutched onto his uniform. Shallow breaths were coming short and rapid. Stray perls of sweat rolled down the porcelain white skin. 

"What's going on?" Commander Erwin muttered irritated. When Levi had informed him someone wanted Arlert dead, he didn't expect him dying in front of him.

But Armin was dying in front of him.

The situation ended in utter chaos when Armin's knees gave away and gravity pulled down the lifeless body.

"Armin!" Mikasa and Eren cried in unison. Eren barely catched the fragile boy. Armin's shaking body gasped in Eren's lap. The soldier was at a loss, uncertain what to do.

"The water was poisoned! We need to bring him to a doctor and fast! Come on!" Levi jumped into action. 

The soldiers paced nervously, Eren scoped the limp body into his arms. Hanji kicked the door open they had locked earlier for privacy. Erwin stepped ahead to make a way.

"You knew this!" Levi was stopped when Mikasa clawed his arm. 

"You knew the water was poisoned!" She snarled furiously, tightening her grip that it was certain to be drawing blood.

"We have no time for that!" Levi snapped and pulled his arm away, feeling the burning long scratch.

Both started running after Eren who carried the still living corpse. They passed a tall boy who stood paralyzed in the hallway.

"Armin..." The boy, who was Jean Kirschtein muttered. He had been looking desperately for the boy after their small fight. He wanted to apologize to Armin for underestimating him. 

So how was his Armin now dying in Eren's arms?

He snapped out of it and followed the group, his heart pounding to his throat. His eyes were solely focused on the golden hair. He even ignored Mikasa when he outran her.

Armin disappeared in a room. Jean listened to Eren's cries. Mikasa pushed Jean away and entered the room.

"Armin stay with us!" She yelled at the barely conscious boy.

"You need to leave!" The doctor appeared from out of nowhere and pushed everyone out of the room. The short man jumped into action to support the doctor's decision.

"No I'm not leaving him!" Eren screamed at their corporal. Levi gave up on kicking the titan shifter out of the room.

"Look, Armin is freezing. Both of you should look for some blankets." Levi tried it the nice way. After a lot of crying and sobbing, the two eventually let go of Armin. What was troubling Jean was why Levi stayed with Armin.

The two barely had a connection and if these were Armin's last moments in this world, shouldn't his best friends be with him? Couldn't he be with Armin?

No. If Jean would be starting to protest it would endanger Armin unnecessarily. Jean wouldn't think Armin would die now.

No. Not today. And especially, not like this.

Jean hadn't been waiting long. Probably only for 10 minutes, but it felt like 10 hours. He still wasn't allowed in there, which he interpreted as a good sign. Unfortunately, he was never good with interpretations. 

Mikasa and Eren returned when Levi stepped out of the room. Their cheeks were flushed from running so fast.

"Corporal! How is he?" Eren gasped, horror painted all over his face. The longer Levi stayed quiet, the more distressed they appeared. 

When Levi finally dodged their looks, they knew.

"I'm sorry."

Two words.

Two simple words. 

But the meaning could tear worlds into shreds.

Jean stopped breathing for a moment. His eyes started watering up, burning from the lack of blinks. Every heart beat struck sickening. Why would his cruel heart keep going when Armin's wasn't? Where was the point now?

"No." Eren breathed, shaking his head frantically.

"No! No!"

"Eren..." Mikasa sobbed heartbroken next to him. She was too tied up in her own sorrow to babysit him. She was too busy realizing her little friend she had sworn to protect, was now dead.

"I wanna see him, I need to see him!" Eren pleaded desperately. Jean watched the scene, feeling not very present in this world. 

"I'd not recommend that." Levi mumbled silently, enraging flammable Eren even more.

"I don't care! Let me through! Armin!" 

Mikasa barely supported Levi with blocking the door. She was against Eren's dumb and violent approach. But she wasn't against his ideas.

"We need to say our goodbyes. Please." She whimpered, and Jean would've never thought to see tough Mikasa this fragile.

"The poison... He- He died very painfully. Blood dripping out of every hole. I don't want your last impression to be traumatizing." Levi confessed honestly. Mikasa widened her eyes shocked and gasped painfully. Her hands fell off Eren and she hid her sobs and cries under her palms. 

Eren turned mute, seeing his practical sister vulnerable. He laid one hand on her rocking shoulders.

"Don't we have the right to say our goodbyes to our childhood friend?" Eren spoke bitterly, eyes trained on Mikasa. Levi bit his lip, hoping to escape this horrible situation anytime soon.

"You have. I'm so sorry. But it won't be now. You will say your goodbye to him on his funeral."

 _Funeral_.

It struck Jean so hard for a moment. Armin was really dead. Their Armin was gone. Forever.

He could never see his shining smile. His sparkling blue eyes when he dreamed of the outside world. His wonderful concentrated face when he was figuring out how to save everyone. The soft sweet smell accompanying him, which no one figured out how he was doing that. The crystal bells that sang when he laughed.

All these things. 

All these and even more were treasured moments Jean could never see, feel, enjoy again.

Never again.

"You should get some fresh air." Levi advised dryly. The two didn't really move.

"Hey."

Jean took time to realize Levi was now talking to him. In slow motion his head creeped towards the corporal.

"Hey soldier. Would you get them out of here." He demanded. 

Hope. Wonderful hope shattered instantly. One little part of him had hoped Levi to deliver a last message from Armin to him. Now Armin could never forgive him. 

Like a machine he steered towards Mikasa and Eren. His muscles protested. His brain yearned to drop to the floor and wail until his heart gave up. 

So Jean turned out his brain.

His lifeless body followed orders, since that was the only thing he was capable of. Step by step. He counted the steps to keep moving forward. To follow orders.

Death is what they all had signed up for.

Jean barely noticed Commander Erwin passing the trio. He didn't really notice his concerned glances. He was trapped in his own breaking world.

"Don't tell me what I think happened." Jean listened to Erwin's voice.

"Then I won't say it." Levi replied. It angered Jean slightly how they didn't seem bothered about Armin's death. But it made sense of course. They weren't close enough.

"Did you at least get the identity of the female titan?"

Identity of the female titan? What? What- Why- Why would Armin-?

Jean suddenly realized that Armin had never been the clueless innocent boy. Harmless in every way.

Armin died for being too sharp. Too smart. And yet he hid it from everyone, making him the most dangerous and deceptive person of them all.

"Unfortunately, he took the secret into his grave." Levi answered, slightly after Jean's head snapped back to observe the conversation between the two higher ranked ups.

He feared what he saw.

Shortly after, both departed into different directions. Jean stumbled further to the door leading outside. No noise of his two captives reached his ears.

All he could think of was Levi's facial expression when he told Erwin about the lost secret.

Jean really hadn't been the purest person to live. He preferred to concentrate on his own needs. He had no problems to look away. He often cheated his way to achieve common things. At some point of his life he had become an expert in lying. Lying about everything if needed.

And that is what he recognized on Levi's face. Whatever resulted to leave him to look like this, one thing was for sure.

Levi knew more than he let everyone else know.

He knew more about Armin's sudden death.


	5. The Funeral

The pair eyed the door cautiously. They were scared to open it. Feared the moment of disappointment. The last words of Goodbye.

"You tell her." Reiner mentioned casually while clearing his throat. His friend to his right nearly agreed, before the words made sense in his brain. He widened his eyes.

"Wha- Why me?" Bertolt protested shocked, his heart rate climbing up the colossal titan.

"It's team work!" Reiner proposed with a dorky grin.

"Teamwork?" Bertolt grumbled irritated. He shifted nervously on his two feet. He scratched his arm frantically, it distracted him from the inevitable they had to face.

"Well, yeah." Reiner shrugged. _"I_ open the door, _you_ deliver the news. See? Teamwork?" Reiner presented his idea with a slight tilt of his head. His facial expression gave away he already knew Bertolt's opinion.

"Yeah sure, no way. _You_ tell her, definitely." Bertolt prompted.

"That's not fair." Reiner whined, the sight of the door making him fidgety. His throat was raspy. The last time he had swallowed it had burned unbearably. Should he risk to swallow again?

"It sure is. _You_ volunteered to do the _'thing'_." Bertolt pointed out, like always keeping a clear mind. Though during such a complicated topic it was nearly impossible to contain his frustration. Let alone the thought he felt the urge to throw up.

"Yeah sure, I _'volunteered'_." Reiner grumbled, remembering too well how Annie had practically forced him into this tasteless task. Bertolt barely shot him a glance, Reiner already had opened his mouth again.

"Very well. Seems like I am the most worthy warrior out of all of you damn cowards." Reiner bragged with a sudden severity. Bertolt lowered his eyes to the ground in shame. The weird thing was, he felt no shame. 

He felt relieved.

"If you'd even be half the warrior I am, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place-EAi!" Reiner shrieked and retracted his hand from the doorknob. Bertolt backed away upon seeing the meighty little woman that had opened the door.

Wordlessly she grabbed both men by their collar and pulled them inside her room. She didn't look amused.

Inside the room she left both boys standing and walked away, probably to look out of the window. Bertolt scanned the room swiftly, searching for any signs of preparations for a prospective departure. He found none.

Reiner tugged Bertolt on his shirt and motioned his head at Annie. Bertolt narrowed his eyes into slits. So much of the coward talk.

"Annie-" Bertolt breathed hard, staring at the woman's back and her well formed hips. "-You're so calm?" He stated suddenly. The calmness Annie radiated was concerning, if not already creepy.

"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" She glanced back sharply, observing both men with an emotion Bertolt couldn't really put his finger on.

Reiner bit his lip, trembling tremendously of the pressure by now. He looked to the ground in defeat.

"We failed. Armin survived our every trap. We didn't find the place where the meeting should be held. We were too late. I'm sorry." Reiner blurted out.

Bertolt realized how hard breathing had become. It was out. Annie had only one option left. Return home. Rather empty handed than dead.

"Why are you still standing here? Why aren't you shouting, cursing or- or even packing?" Reiner suddenly snapped, disturbed by how worryless Annie seemed. Unlike Bertolt he didn't feel paralyzed. Just the opposite. He felt the energy of a titan pulse through his every fiber. He wanted to transform and roar at the whole world.

"Armin is dead."

The revelation came surprisingly. Unexpected.

Especially out of Annie's mouth.

"He- what?" Bertolt gasped horrified. As much as it pained him to see Annie leave, this part of the deal seemed even worse. More cruel.

Armin was dead.

"I killed him. I had to, since you guys didn't seem capable enough." Annie croaked, sounding very vulnerable despite her strong appearance. Reiner found a smile, which crept the hell out of Bertolt. He didn't want to believe it. Armin, dead, no.

"So, how did you manage?" Reiner asked nervously, rubbing his sweaty palms against each other. Bertolt didn't want to know, but his paralyzed muscles didn't grant him the break to shut his ears.

"Armin may be smart, but he can be pretty oblivious to his surroundings when he's deep in thought. I spied on him. Disabled every option of water, so he was eventually forced to drink my prepared water."

"Poison." Bertolt added shocked, not believing someone like Armin really did fall for that. Annie threw a concerned look at him, but nodded.

"He died during the meeting. Quick death, without any pain." Annie whispered, blinking dangerous tears away.

"How can you be sure he didn't leak any information?" Reiner scowled. Annie's head suddenly felt heavy, her body pretty much exhausted. She didn't look Reiner into his eyes when she answered.

"He probably did leak information. But he wouldn't give a name without presenting his proofs first. The time seemed too short for Armin to reveal my identity without sufficient evidence." Annie answered. Reiner cleared his throat.

"So you don't know for sure."

No answer followed. The statement kept floating in the room, unmentioned.

"It was the right thing to do." Reiner eventually sighed. Bertolt swallowed bitterly, feeling a wave of nausea when he nodded in approval.

"Yeah. I guess it was." Annie responded barely audible. Her blond hairs covered her eyes that were torn open, stray tears leaking down her cheeks.

"I mean, he probably would've died anyway, like in the next mission already, right? It's not like he could've lived a long life." Reiner reasoned, probably to ease his own mind. Bertolt thought of it sickening, how they tried to talk a friend's death little. The second friend they had to murder for their own selfish reasons.

"They're devils anyway. We did this for the greater good. You can be proud of yourself Annie." Reiner tried to cheer them up. It didn't work. Annie mouthed the word _proud_ and choked down a sob.

"He won't be missed. His family is dead. Sure Mikasa and Eren might be sad for a little while, but they'll be relieved that Armin doesn't burden them anymore." Reiner reasoned mindlessly. For the first time Bertolt thought about ramming his sword into Reiner's throat. How could someone say a dear friend wouldn't be missed? Just to easen his own mind? 

No. They deserved to suffer for what they had done. They deserved no apology. Not for Marco and especially not for Armin.

"The others will get over it as well. I mean, we're trained soldiers, aren't we? Countless of us will die. We will need to get used to that. Look at Jean. Marco died and he still lives. What? Will Armin make that much difference?" 

Bertolt stared shocked at Reiner. Why wouldn't he just shut up? It was doing nothing to ease his and Annie's mind. If it had any affect on them, he worsened it. 

Talking bad about the dead seemed always wrong. Aren't they in the end all Eldians? Shouldn't they stick together? The mere fact that the three possessed titan powers made them into devils as well.

"Annie." Reiner laid one prank down on her fragile shoulder. The girl looked up. Her eyes were sparkling a certain sadness. No hope was left in the sapphires.

"You shouldn't let that gnaw on you. All that matters is that we achieve our goal. Your goal, remember? To see _him_ again. We shouldn't destroy ourselves by overthinking little 'obstacles'." 

Bertolt knew for sure now. Karma was gonna come back at them. And it would be hitting hard. Their arrogance would be their downfall. There was no way Armin died and left his work undone.

To his disgust though, hope returned into Annies cold eyes. "You're right Reiner. We need to focus." She croaked, but it was filled with determination. Well, at least she had tried to do so. Bertolt cringed at the two. 

"Will there be a funeral?" He asked all of a sudden. The two glanced at the tall adult in mild confusion.

"Yeah. There will be a funeral." Annie answered with a returning sadness. At least now she was better in containing it. Her lower lip had stopped trembling and her eyes seemed dry.

"Alright. I won't believe Armin's death until I see his lifeless corpse. I will attend the funeral." Bertolt decided. He felt the power surge through his veines now that he had a motive to move on.

"Bertolt. I know you've been close-"

"This has nothing to do with friendship." Bertolt interrupted Reiner. He scanned his best friend with watchful eyes.

"Armin is not a person to be underestimated. Not even dead. I will attend the funeral. It'll be even weirder if I'll be missing." Bertolt explained, a bit calmer than before. Reiner mused about it, but agreed eventually. Officially they were friends with the dead little soldier.

"I'll come, too." Annie decided, breaking the comfortable silence. Bertolt's heart sunk to the bottom of his body for a moment. There was no way he'd let Annie go there. That funeral thingy could only be a ruse to get as many soldiers on one place to catch Annie.

"You sure? Never heard of the stories where the murderer visits the death scenes of their victims?" Reiner pointed out, risking a death glare from Annie.

"I actually agree with Reiner on that. It could be dangerous for you to show up." Bertolt agreed cautiously. He didn't plan to inform them of his suspicions about Armin having a last plan hidden under his sleeve. It could risk two reactions. First, they'd get all jumpy and act weird. Second, they wouldn't believe him at all. Bertolt wasn't fond of any of these options.

"You said it yourself. It'd be suspicious not to show up. Armin and I had been very close friends." She argued with composure, beating Bertolt with his own weapons. The worst thing? Reiner suddenly agreed with Annie. And Bertolt felt totally left alone in his paranoia. 

Sweat ran down his temple, over his moving Adam's apple and further. Was that already the trap Armin's smart brain had prepared? A trap they couldn't even escape? Like a mouse getting it's neck snapped by a deadly trap.

"Bertolt, the kid is dead. You shouldn't break your head over him. His time to bust us is over. We're safe." Reiner spoke soothingly, a sweaty hand clamped over his shoulder. With a sharp movement Bertolt freed himself.

Normally Bertolt would agree. Reiner was often right. But now that anxiety was killing every common sense, Bertolt finally meant to see the reality.

Maybe Reiner wasn't always right?

Maybe they were living a big fat lie?

Their goal? A huge mistake?

Their actions? Still justified?

His screaming thoughts provoked a nasty headache. He could hear Marco's cries again. Over and over.

_We still haven't talked about this!_

No. They haven't. All they were doing was murdering. They were killing the ones who could change the world with words. First Marco, then Armin. Who would be next?

Bertolt started shaking his head frantically. He was slowly getting insane.

"No, Reiner. You're wrong. We're not safe. We live in between our enemies and lie at them daily. One day everything we have will vanish. We mustn't relax now that Armin is gone. It should remind us to be even more cautious from now on." Bertolt scolded his best friend right into his face. Reiner stayed mute. He was speechless for once. Bertolt knew why. It was because he only lived after the lies he was told. His brain wasn't made to question everything. 

Bertolt saw Annie and knew she was capable of it, unlike Reiner. He saw the little sparks of recognition in her eyes.

Realizing he had said everything he needed to, Bertolt moved to leave the room. Annie watched him nervously. She opened her mouth, but in the end said nothing to stop him.

She observed the man leave. Leave them behind.

Reiner blinked perplexed at Annie, surprised by Bertolt's weird behavior. He shook his head in a superior manner.

"He will get over it." He sighed and walked towards the door, promising to meet again at the funeral. 

Annie felt her hand moving to the other, her fingertips coming in contact with the cold metal. She spinned the jewelry around her finger. She barely flinched when the needle sliced past her skin into her flesh.

"No..." She whispered in horrifying realization. 

"We won't."

* * *

Jean hadn't been on many funerals.

He hadn't had much contact in general with death during his childhood. 

His father had disappeared early. Jean had learned not to mention him. His mother never reacted well in such cases.

The comfort Jean had enjoyed for several years wasn't a given. Upon entering the trainee corps he needed to understand that not everyone had had so much luck in their lives. 

Especially those three orphans he had met. Eren had acted the most dramatic out of the three. Jean never had liked him and he thought everyone who had lost his parents was acting special. 

Armin had been the one to educate him to the better.

It had been the evening Jean had looked after Mikasa. Armin had been deep in thoughts, sitting at the table with half of his food left. His friends had wanted to repeat something, Jean didn't really remember much more. But he did remember clearly Armin drowning in his thoughts.

_"So Armin-" The boy was shaken out of his own head. It took some time for Armin to focus on the unexpected conversation, but Jean was patient. Armin ripped his eyes away from the campfire warming the people in the cafeteria. Blue met silver._

_"-What's going on between the two? You know, Mikasa and Eren." Jean added after Armin hesitated to answer. Armin gazed at the exit and shrugged his shoulders._

_"Aren't you guys really close?" Jean blurted out in surprise, a soft laughter accompanying his words._

_"It's complicated." Armin finally answered audibly. He looked at his unfinished food and considered to be full. It was no wonder to Jean Armin was such a toothpick._

_"Wait!" Jean stopped Armin before the boy could stand up and even think about leaving. Jean was determined to win the girl over. Therefore he needed Armin._

_Mentioned boy squirmed lightly under the tight grip._

_"It's a long story." Armin replied weakly, pulling at his arm. Not to free himself, but to send polite signals to Jean. To let him leave this uncomfortable situation._

_Jean didn't loosen his grip. Armin needed to do better than this to get rid of him._

_"I have time." He answered simply with a sly grin. Armin slightly grumbled under his breath before sitting back down in defeat._

_"Alright. Back in Shiganshina Mikasa and Eren had lived in the same household for quite some time. Like brother and sister." Armin explained warmly, softly entrapped in good old memories. Jean had caught himself marveling the reflection of the fire in Armin's eyes. The answer ripped him out of the blue ocean though._

_"Wait! So they're actually family?" Jean blurted out hopefully, a victorious smile planted on his face. A grimace appeared on Armin's face, clearly showing his dislike towards Jean's reaction. Although the taller boy couldn't really bring himself to care._

_"No. The Yaeger family had adopted her after her family had been murdered by bandits." Armin deadpanned. The gears started rattling in Jean's brain. His smile slowly fell down._

_"Mikasa... She is an orphan?" He realized in surprise. But also shock. She was totally different compared to her friend Eren. She didn't act special. She wasn't as extrovert. She quietly minded her own business, only stepping up to protect her two childhood friends._

_"Well yes. Like the majority of the survivors from Wall Maria." Armin interrupted his train of thoughts in a bitter voice. Jean scanned the young boy, realizing he had completely misjudged him._

_"You- as well?" Jean asked carefully. There was nothing left of his good and worryless mood. He hadn't intended to hurt Armin with this conversation. Truth, they had never been this close before._

_"Yes, but not with the fall of the wall. I was long, long- I don't even remember their faces anymore." Armin chuckled to hide his sadness. "They were killed." Armin muttered, barely audible for Jean. He could see the shy hatred sparkling in his eyes._

_"By whom?" Jean gasped breathless. He feared he wouldn't like the answer. Armin looked him dead in the eyes._

_"By the military police."_

_Jean felt the sudden difficulty in breathing. A strong imaginary fist hitting him deep in the gut, forcing his fresh food out again._

_He expected Armin would despice him, since he intended to join the very people who had murdered his parents._

_"But we can't just run around and exterminate the police now, can we?" He replied with a surprisingly kind smile. It creeped the hell out of Jean so much, he even retreated on his seat. Away from the scary kid._

_"Alright." Armin placed down his glass with a mighty adorable power. He had been playing with it since a while. The boy was about to leave when Jean made a stupid mistake._

_A mistake that would crush the comfortable life he had lived before. Destroy the luxury he had enjoyed for years._

_"But you're acting so different. Compared to Eren you and Mikasa are so much kinder." Jean spoke up with frown. Armin turned around, already again the nice male Christa Jean often saw him as._

_"Well isn't it obvious? Would be awkward if we were all the same." Armin chuckled. Jean wondered how he could have been scared of this boy, he was so adorable and small. This led him to irrational bravery, such as shaking his head. Second mistake._

_"No, I mean- I would've thought the loss of your parents would have a greater toll on your character. Like Eren being all the self centered and annoying bastard. Thinking he's all special and deserves better." Jean maligned in a low grumble, the words rolling effortlessly off his tongue. Why wouldn't he be right? Eren was a certified asshole._

_"Yes-" Armin spoke up, relatively calm, but Jean could tell it would probably backfire at him. "-Eren can be a jerk. It's true, I admit. He runs around like a brainless moron while Mikasa saves his reckless butt countless times." Armin told with an annoyed expression. Jean grinned satisfied by hearing those surprising but wonderful words._

_"Eren is an idiot-" Armin nodded. "-but he's my friend. He is like this to help people. He acts like this to help me, countless times in our past already. At least Eren tries to make the world a better place with his dumb attitude instead of other people." Armin suddenly glared daggers at Jean. He blinked perplexed, his earlier words over Eren leaving a bitter taste all over his tongue._

_It vanished as sudden as it had appeared. Armin smiled warmly again and laid a soft hand on Jean's shoulder. Jean gasped, the sudden change of mood's inside the blond boy reacting like cold freezing water all over his head._

_"But of course your question could be easily explained with different people coping differently with traumatic events, right?" Armin tilted his head. How could one person be cute and terrifying at the same time? Jean couldn't explain how, but he knew the perfect example._

_The blond turned around. Jean smelled a whiff of his clean, probably fluffy hair. He realized how he had been drawn to it, almost walking after the boy to the exit._

_"I'm sorry." Jean blurted out, his attracted body doing anything to keep the boy near him._

_Armin glanced back at him. He had an earnest smile planted under his ocean blue eyes, portraying Jean's own reflection._

_"You know, it's not bad to look at the mirror sometimes before speaking. Thank you." Armin advised. Jean didn't see his lips moving. He only saw his own dumbfounded face in Armin's clear eyes._

_"You alright?" A heavy hand planted itself on Jean's shoulder. First he looked at the prank before his eyes moved over to the source. The man with the endless freckles eyed him concerned. Jean stumbled to say something. Frantically he scanned the area for Armin, but he had already vanished into thin air._

_"You looking for Armin? Gone for a good couple of minutes already." Marco enlightened his friend with a slick grin. Jean blinked confused. He shook his head, completely taken aback._

_"This kid... damn." He breathed, his hand travelling through his surprisingly messy hair._

That was the first time Jean had taken a desirable interest into the blond weak boy. He had kept at least one eye close to to Armin. Watching fail after fail killing the boy slowly from the inside. Admiring him when his brain formed the most complicated solutions while outsmarting their frustrated teacher.

Jean had begun to observe every different facet Armin had to offer, which seemed like a never ending task. He had started to choose the seat next to the blond, even if it provoked a fight with his nemesis and in the end often a nasty bruise. 

Something about that kid bothered Jean though. It was known to everyone how extraordinary smart Armin was. Still Armin could wander unseen, like a ghost. He wandered like a nobody next to his friends, as if he had no special qualities, no hidden talents.

Eren had his big mouth.

Mikasa was awfully skilled and scary.

So was Annie.

Reiner and Bertolt were the strong big brothers of their squad.

Christa was the kindest. An angel. A godess.

Ymir was strangely scary and lesbian.

Connie and Sasha super weird and funny.

But Armin? He was quiet. Unnoticeable. Shy and weak. Instant cannon fodder. Forgettable.

Although this wasn't true, not at all. When Jean thought of Armin, he imagined a swan. Yes, those majestic birds. But Armin was still young. A young swan is a grey one, considered ugly and boring. 

But when the right time comes, the swan matures, like a flower it will blossom to a wonderful majestic creature.

Jean should be right with his analogy. It was their first fight in Trost he had seen the little duckling stepping out of the shadow and presenting his hidden talents.

He remembered himself dying.

Then a gigantic fist had met the great titan cheek and removed them to their rightful place on the ground, dead. 

A loud sudden crash had ended in several shards splattered on the ground. Jean's head had snapped so hard into the direction, his neck had been still crying minutes later.

_"Mikasa? Thank god!" Jean blurted out relieved. His knees turned wobbly after the burden was off his shoulders. Mikasa was here. She's a badass. They're saved._

_Apparently not._

_Jean found the two figures behind her. First he had thought it was Connie carrying Christa bridal style. Obviously it was not Christa._

_"You're a certified genius!" Connie celebrated while patting Armin's back violently. The poor boy winced, nevertheless the praise had a wonderful effect on him. A warm smile danced on his thin lips. His tussled hair shined brightly due to the sun._

_"As far as I'm concerned your word is law!" Connie babbled excitedly and jumped to his feet. Jean barely had time to enjoy the sight of the young boy, before Connie led their attention back to the abnormal._

_Oh right, they were dying._

_At least they had Mikasa. Surprisingly it turned out it was their luck to have Armin._

_"If we time this perfectly, this much ammo oughta be enough to do the trick." Armin explained his improvised plans with a seriousness that was new to the whole group. Not that Armin often fooled around. Armin was probably one of the most severest of the 104th trainee squad. It was just, now that his word decided directly over all of their lifes, Armin could be easily mistaken for their commander._

_The effect wore off faster than you could blink and insecurity suffocated the little boy. Jean opened his mouth, but it was so dry, no words left his body._

_Marco spoke up, then Mikasa. Of course. They were close friends. They should be the ones to lighten Armin's consciousness. Why should Jean all of a sudden care for someone? It wouldn't match his image. It would only confuse everyone._

_No matter how many excuses Jean formed in his brain, he felt awful for staying quiet. He felt worse for leaving Armin there as canon fodder._

_"I'm going. This is my plan. If everyone's going to die, it will be because of me. It's a responsibility I can't escape." Armin hissed at Mikasa. Jean supported her opinion for Armin to stay safe. Though he could also understand Armin's decision. Luckily Marco was with him, although he could offer likely no protection._

_Seeing his best friend and Armin in between the rest of the soldiers gave Jean the determination. To save them he couldn't fail, no matter what. He would slice that neck and if it was the last thing he'd do._

Jean hadn't failed. Armin had survived the fight for Trost, which absolutely no one would've thought. 

When Jean had looked death again directly into it's blue eyes, he had been truly grateful for how far Armin had made it.

_"Jean! Avenge the bastard who rushed into his death!" Armin's voice sounded through the battlefield. Many thoughts were flooding Jean's head in this moment._

_What the heck? Did Armin hit his head?_

_Wait, bastard... Eren? Dead?_

_Oh god fucking dammit-_

_He spit out the dirt he had eaten during his crash to the ground. Dirt was under his nails, his hands and arms were covered in severel scratches. Hell his whole body was burning from this crash. Especially from this height._

_Armin's screaming brought him back to reality._

_He was alive._

_The abnorma- no, the titan shifter seemed distracted by Armin. Jean couldn't tell if the boy felt any fear or had straight gone mad._

Jean couldn't hide it anymore. Without Armin he wouldn't have made it. Jean wouldn't have survived this far without Armin.

He wouldn't be attending Armin's funeral without him.

Now he was here. In his honorable scratchy uniform. He tried not to think too much, but he was already drowning in his thoughts. Their relationship had ended in a fight. Now that Armin was dead, Jean eventually realized how dependent they- no, he had been of Armin.

It was too late. His chances to appreciate everything Armin had done for them, for him, they were over indefinitely.

He wished to say goodbye to Armin's corpse. He just didn't think he deserved it.

"Jean." Mentioned boy snapped out of his thoughts and faced the new person. 

"Reiner, Bertolt." Jean nodded politely at the two persons before turning back in line and standing straight. 

Armin deserved one of the most honorable funerals, regarding his grand efforts, especially in his young age. His maybe greatest achievement, the reconquest of Trost. Jean didn't doubt they could've won back Wall Maria as well with Armin's help.

"You're not going to say your goodbyes?" Bertolt asked, standing next to Reiner straight. They didn't look at each other while communicating. Instead they ovserved the way the others prepared the funeral. Dug a big hole, way too big for Armin's small frame.

"No." Jean answered laconic. He feared to break down if he kept talking. It was his own fault for letting someone get too close to him again. Although he really didn't choose to love Armin. He knew better than to trust romance in this world. It never ended very promisi-

"Nooo!" 

The heart ripping cry caught all three men off guard. Their heads immediately searched for the source, finding it with Mikasa trying to strangle their Corporol.

"You promised-!" Mikasa choked out in sobs. Levi strangely did little to subdue the girl.

"I'm sorry. It's not in my control." He retorted with a sly hint of sadness. Mikasa's body was trembling violently. Her eyes were crimson red from crying. Eren wasn't much different from her, but unlike releasing his anger on the short man he clinged to a great locked box.

It tightened around Jean's chest. Air didn't flood through his body like properly planned. Horror was marked on his face, knowing that the corpse of his crush was trapped in this coffin.

"It isn't good to get this attached in our line of work." Reiner broke the silence with a nod towards Eren and Mikasa. He received no answer to that. Eventually Bertolt woke up and left the line. He needed to check what was going on there.

Jean was torn apart in his decision. Should he leave the line and show initiative or be a coward, and stay. Gladly his paralyzed muscles took that decision away.

Jean observed how Reiner walked after Bertolt. Annie joined the scene from somewhere else. Jean was touched she had arrived for her friend from the inner wall. He knew that Armin had gotten along pretty well with her. It was fascinating how good Armin befriended with the type of persons that were hated by his two best friends.

Soldiers appeared who lead Eren and Mikasa from the funeral preparations away. They were wailing so hard, they didn't even see where they were brought to. 

Jean couldn't kill his curiosity anymore. What was going on that was so devastating to the two?

He neared the scene. Annie was apparently talking to Levi.

"I- I don't understand." Annie stuttered, her hands brushing her hair away nervously. 

"The state he died in was devastating. The poison left his body and mind in complete agony. Showing his corpse would be dishonoring." Levi explained shortly, trying his best to sound like he always does. He wouldn't admit it, but Mikasa's and Eren's emotional outburst really had gotten into him.

"Armin- no..." Annie gasped shocked, wiping away tears. Levi's words had been horrifying. Jean tasted the bile under his tongue. The knowledge of Armin suffering instead of a quick death destroyed every little happiness he could ever feel again. Jean was disappointed he didn't have his maneuver gear on. He wouldn't have hesitated in ramming the sword into his throat.

"Annie..." Bertolt grabbed her by the shoulder and intended to drag her away. Apparently Levi had different plans. He would never know how much he'd hurt both Annie and Jean with his next action.

"Wait Annie, there was something- Before Armin died he wanted me to do something." Levi spoke softly while rummaging through his bag. Annie watched him with horror written on her face. Jean couldn't understand, shouldn't she be happy Armin directed his last words for her?

Levi fished out a book and handed it over to Annie. Jean recognized it in an instant. 

"What is it?" Annie asked bluntly, holding the book as if it was in flames. Jean felt the need to rip that book away from her hands and clench it against his chest. But it was against Armin's interest that it landed in _his_ hands, he thought with spite. 

Green didn't suit Jean. His vision became blurry when he imagined how disappointed Armin would be in him.

"It's his most precious property. A valuable book from his deceased grandfather that woke up in him the desire to see the world outside. To see the ocean. " Levi explained, clearing his throat several times. Annie was trembling by now. Her expression was anything against her usual composure.

"Annie..." Bertolt urged her nervously. Jean could've noticed Bertolt's unusual behavior. Or the fact that Armin gave the book to Annie instead of Eren, since the two shared the same dream. 

Jean could've noticed many things, if he wouldn't be so entrapped in his own grief and jealousy.

Why was he surprised to find out his love was one sided? Why shouldn't Armin choose Annie over him? 

It hurt nevertheless. It hurt so much. Jean was certain he lost the ability to love ever again. His heart died with Armin, entrapped in the expensive coffin. His body was left to die serving humanity, like he had promised. There was no other goal left for him.

"I'm very sorry Annie. You must've been very close by the looks of it." 

Levi's words were the last strings for Jean to snap. He turned around and dashed away. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. His body rocked in between sobs. He chose a lonely corner where he could let everything out. But the pain would last forever.

* * *

"Oh gosh!" 

"Annie calm down." Bertolt reprimanded her. He stood straight in line to get over the funeral, but apparently Annie decided to break down.

"I never meant- I don't get... I don't understand- He was never supposed to die like this... Die in... in agony!" Annie stammered, a waterfall of tears streaming down her whole face. 

"Calm down. You're drawing them onto us." Bertolt tried again, but was interrupted by Reiner.

"No _you_ are the suspicious one. By the walls, Armin died, we're on his funeral, at least push out one believable tear drop." Reiner scolded his friend in a whisper tone. Still it became too risky for Bertolt. He looked around him before he grabbed both by their arms and dragged them away. Annie followed willingly in her sorrow, Reiner tried his best to hide his annoyance.

"What the hell?" He asked once they were gone from the crowd.

"Don't you see it guys? This is a trap. Everything here is fake." Bertolt revealed his theory. Reiner, already done with him, groaned and looked up to the sky for support.

"Why wouldn't they let us see his corpse? Why did they give Annie this book?" He pointed furiously at the old book.

"Because Armin is alive! No one is in the coffin, that's why they can't present us a corpse. And the book? They want to see Annie's reaction!" 

"Enough!" Reiner snapped.

"Stop it! I've had enough of your stupid theories. Armin is dead. Can't you accept that finally?" His head was red, it wouldn't be a surprise if fume would steam out of his ears. Bertolt blinked perplexed. He had hoped for support, not this.

"I'm just being careful-"

"No you're being unreasonable." Reiner retorted immediately. Annie sobbed quietly and stared at the book in her hands.

"Alright, change of plans." Reiner decided promptly.

"We will go all in."

"Are you crazy?" Bertolt shouted silently, in order to prevent any unwanted attention being dragged onto them.

"We will loose our cover immediately. There will be no going back." He freaked out. Reiner shook his head. He must've lost his mind.

"As long as we have the element of surprise we have a chance. With Armin gone we won't need to fear any improvised plans." He explained calmly. Always in control.

"What will we do about Mikasa and Levi?" Annie spoke up, her hitching breath calming down.

"They have no chance against three titans, especially not the colossal titan here." Reiner countered back and pointed at Bertolt, who was fidgeting from one foot to another.

"This won't do. The risk of loosing one of us is too high." Bertolt scowled.

"Now we have the chance to lure Eren into a trap." He decided and took over the planning for them. The two blondes looked at him with expectation.

"How?" Reiner asked naturally curious. Bertolt pointed with his head to the ongoing funeral.

"We have the situation-" He took the book from Annie's grasp. "-and the additional lure."

"Alright, the planning is up to you Bert. Don't forget, we entrust you with our lives." Reiner chuffed. He clapped Bertolt on his back before leaving. Neither of the four returned to the funeral. To the funeral of Armin Arlert.

Jean needed the time to recover from this shock regarding the forbidden conversation he had accidentally eavesdropped on.

They used to be friends, now they're enemies. But all along they always were traitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any hobby writers are reading this:  
> Ever noticed you have typical starters for stories?  
> I always wanted to differ, but rethinking all my stories (a lot of I never published because editing is so much work), I noticed there a only two beginner situations.  
> 1\. Running through the hallway: attempt to bring stress and curiosity to the reader  
> 2\. Flashback/weird dream, prophecy + protagonist waking up: mystery and curiosity  
> The worst? For this story I used BOTH of my typical starters. I'm not going to change them (too late now), but I will have a look out to search for more options in future works.  
> This story? Ah yes, TWO more chapters left! Next one will be-  
> TRIGGER WARNING: SPOILERS!  
> Click next chapter to confirm. (I'm a monster)


	6. The Final Showdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here it is. Actually I had this ready for a good week now, but I refused to post it without the last (big) chapter.  
> So yeah, you can be mad, but also happy, because tomorrow the last chapter will follow.  
> Enjoy! :)

He was breaking down.

Even after Marco's death Jean had never really felt alone. He had friends to keep him entertained. He had duties to follow. A goal to live for. And trust in the people around him.

Now he had lost his trust in humanity. He lost the most important person, that meant the world to him. He never wanted to be a person that lives because of someone else. Jean always longed to be independent, a lone wolf. Now that Armin was dead, he realized the difference of his dream self and the real one.

Still Jean had no time to drown in his self misery. He held dangerous but valuable knowledge in his hands. He knew the secret identity of humanity's greatest enemies. Now they were at advantage. They could be one step ahead, but who the fuck were _they_?

Who could Jean even entrust now with his revelation. One thing was for sure, he definitely couldn't trust Reiner, Bertolt and Annie.

So could he trust Levi? It was obvious their short Corporal was knowing more than he let himself give credit to. He was lying constantly to keep up something. 

"Shoot." Jean cursed in frustration and kicked a decent looking vase next to him. He didn't really expect it to break so easily. With widened eyes he left his crime location as innocent as possible.

Jean needed to tell someone before he'd be loosing his control. But whom could he trust? The only people left were dead.

He sighed, knowing what he needed to do would be considered awkward by all his comrades.

"Hey Marco, buddy, you gotta help me out." Jean whispered, his head locked up to the extraordinary clear blue sky.

"I don't know whom I can trust anymore. But if I don't act, something terrible will happen." He explained to his dead friend, hoping his words would reach him.

"Those three bastards we used to trust are traitors. Levi is constantly lying. Armin is probably dead. And Eren is in danger, but given he is a titan shifter himself, is he really though?" Jean travelled through his properly combed hair and sighed. Why couldn't those two geniuses be with him? Not that they would've figured out everything sooner, they would also have a great plan under their sleeves.

Wait. Marco's weird and unexpected death without his maneuver gear. It was murder, like in Armin's case. 

"Oh gosh. Could it be those two really found out and were therefore murdered?" Jean mumbled in horror. He prayed this wouldn't be the case. His hopes of Armin being alive somewhere would be crushed for certain. Too occupied with that thought he didn't even realize the danger he himself was in. If he didn't handle this situation cautious and wise, he would get himself an own coffin sooner than expected.

"Ok, nevertheless we know too less about the titans and pretty much everything else. So what should I do? How do I use this knowledge in the most effective way?" He directed back at Marco. He received no answer from the angel. Obviously. Nevertheless Jean clenched his muscles in frustration.

"Why can't you just tell me? It should've been you to survive, not me god dammit!" Jean gasped and buried his head into his hands. It was so hot, he was sweating heavily.

"Just give me a sign Marco. Anything." He pleaded into his palms while shaking his heads in resignation. How would Marco answer him. He was long dead. Gone from this hell.

A crash left his head to perk up.

"Crap!" 

Jean turned his head to see the least wanted person. Eren was stumbling over the shards of a similar vase Jean had broken earlier. He blinked perplexed before he tasted the bile coming up his throat. He looked back up to the sky.

"You've got to be shitting me." He grumbled at his ghost friend. True he had been begging for a sign, but couldn't it be something else than this idiotic moron?

"You know what Marco? Screw you. I'm not going to follow your stupid advi-" Jean stopped ranting when he noticed the familiar book in Eren's hands. He had seen it last time yesterday. At Armin's funeral. In Annie's hands.

"I'mma take that back." Jean stammered dumbfounded and scratched his head. "You Marco, are a freaking genius. So Eren it is." Jean decided and gave a thumbs up to the sky. He started moving into the given direction. He hesitated, biting his lip.

"Marco. If Armin really is up there with you, please send him my regards. Tell him..." Tell him that I love him. Jean was angry at himself that he couldn't even say it now. Now that there were zero chances for Armin to reject him.

"Tell him that we miss him." He sighed resignated. He slumbered up to Eren. The boy looked nervous, he didn't even notice Jean creeping up behind him, which was weird. Normally Eren wasn't so oblivious to his surroundings.

"Yo." He greeted his comrade casually. Eren jerked up heavily. He nearly dropped his book and reached for his swords. Both of them were armed for no particular reason. So Eren was about to do something stupid.

"You gotta do something important?" Jean pointed at Eren's gear with his head, since his hands were stemmed on his hips.

"I have no time for you." Eren growled, not even bothering to look at Jean. His hands were cramped around the book. Still he carried it like Armin's fragile soul.

"You better make some time up. I've got something to discuss with you." Jean replied although Eren showed no intentions of keeping up a conversation. Jean wouldn't do it either, if it weren't for the greater good.

"I need to do something important." Eren hissed like a warning, his turquoise eyes sparkling dangerously at Jean.

"So is the thing I need to tell you of major importance as well." Jean explained, almost loosing his control. In the end he had sounded angrier than he hoped to. Maybe that could've been a reason for Eren to turn around and leave him standing dumbfounded and alone. Wasn't his comrade too curious for such strange behavior?

"Eren wait!" Jean dashed after the brown haired man who wanted nothing more than to be left alone. His brain was working so hard to find a solution for Eren to listen to him. The book was an indication that Eren was already falling for Bertolt's plan.

The book!

Of course. Everything that was happening had one reason. And that's where Jean would start to work with.

"It's about Armin, am I right?" Eren stopped dead in his tracks. Jean didn't see his widened eyes, only his trembling back. At least he stopped walking, which was like a welcoming call for Jean to continue.

"It started with Armin. Everything is circling about him and his sudden death." Jean walked on thin ice. He was aware of that, but he was sure nothing bad could happen, since he loved the boy more than Eren could imagine.

"What is that supposed to mean?" His words were calm and quiet, but it was obviously a threat. Eren wouldn't hesitate to kill Jean right now and then if he would say something wrong about his best friend.

Jean placed one hand over his heart, leaving Eren to loose some of his tension and frown at him. 

"I'm on your side Eren. What did they demand from you?" Jean asked carefully. There was no chance he'd stand a fight against Eren with his swords slipping out of his sweaty hands. Eren turned around like he was struck by a lightening.

"What the-" He was shocked how much Jean seemed to know, especially Jean.

"The book. It wasn't given to you." Jean explained bluntly.

"How would _you_ know? It would only make sense that it would be given to me since we shared the same dream." Eren yelled and pressed the book against his chest to defend it from any danger. Jean would never try to steel the book from Eren hands. Somehow he had had a problem seeing it with Annie, but not with his personal nemesis. The book wasn't where it belonged. But at least it was with someone who understood the value almost as much as Armin did.

"I figured that out as well. But it wasn't given to you." Jean countered back, several flashbacks of the day before rushing through his brain.

"Who was it given to?" Eren asked carefully with a hint of curiosity. He seemed to know he wouldn't like the answer.

"Annie." 

Eren shook his head in disbelief. "That wouldn't make any sense. She is in the military police. She doesn't believe in humanity seeing the outside world." Eren muttered broken. His lip was trembling, his eyes were sparkling from betrayal.

"Unless she has already seen it." Jean spoke dryly. Eren shook his head, lightly then frantically.

"You're insane." He breathed and set back moving. Jean followed him.

"Only because I'm not freaking blind?" He retorted offended.

"You're insane!" Eren repeated with more force. The more he thought about it, it actually made sense. But he wouldn't want to believe it. No, not Annie. Images of the female titan's fighting stances compared with similar ones of Annie flashed through his head. Fuck.

"You think she killed Armin?" He asked with rising anger. His fists were clenched and his teeth were crunching.

"I know she did." Jean confessed sorrowful. He watched how Eren let out painful noises to contain his anger. It didn't sound healthy.

"We should tell the Corporal." Eren advised after he had barely calmed down. Jean shook his head with conviction. Trusting Levi wasn't one of his options.

"No. Levi is in a way dirty, too. He is lying about Armin's death." Jean whispered to Eren. He feared that short man strongly. He wouldn't see him creeping up somewhere under him while the two were talking up here. The other boy widened his eyes in shock.

"You mean Armin could be still alive?" He breathed, a sad smile printed on his lips. Jean momentarily mused about the facts he had gathered before shaking his head.

"You shouldn't get your hopes up. It is rather unlikely." He replied sorrowful. Eren lowered his head and sighed. That wasn't the answer he had hoped for.

"So what are we gonna do?" Eren asked, desperation underlining his tone. Jean needed some time to suppress the need to throw up. He and Eren working together? Eren recognized Jean's expression. He shared it too kindly.

Could the two frenemies really work together? 

Just this once?

* * *

The man was sitting in his room and nipping on his tea. He was alone, and when he put down his cup he continued cleaning his knife. It hadn't been dirty for ages, given he hadn't used it for a long time. It just calmed down his nerves. Especially now he had a lot of damaged and stressed nerves to calm down.

"You've been polishing that knife for hours now." The soft voice sizzled behind the short man. Levi didn't spare a look at it.

"Not that it is any of your business." He deadpanned. Nevertheless he laid down the useless weapon. It could never do the trick in killing a titan.

He took his cup to take a sip. It stilled his nervousness. Therefore it was no wonder that the liquid was long gone. 

"Would you mind setting on some water?" Levi asked into the room. He could feel the other person raising his eyebrow up. Levi groaned exhausted.

"Why am I even talking with a dead person." He grumbled while pushing his body up and walking to the tea pot.

"That's mean." The blond murmured. The sun behind his golden hair left him looking even more surreal.

" _You're_ mean. That situation you put me in with your dumb emotional friends." Levi retorted annoyed. He had to admit how close everything had gotten to him. Now when he was alone, it was eating him alive. Their heartbroken cries for their dead friend were haunting him.

"You shouldn't have left." Levi spoke at the window. He could only observe his own reflection. His chest was tightening painfully. The teapot crashed to the ground. With a curse every water was being released. He had a bone shivering deja vue.

"You're saying this as if I had had a choice." The figure spoke sadly, not bothered by the noises the other man had made. Levi felt guilt drumming through his stomach. Why did he need to be in this position? Why him?

"I know. But it's cruel." He replied with a raspy throat. The pale angel shrugged his shoulders.

"Isn't the whole world based on cruelty?" 

The words echoed in Levi's brain. He blinked a few times to find back to reality. For a moment he had been back. Back then when he had held the dead bodies of his family.

"True."

He left the teapot and the water as it was and tapped back to the table. He fished out his knife and his stone, starting to sharpen his knife for another round. Then he could polish it again.

"How long is this going to last." Levi asked rhetorically to himself, madly sharpening his knife.

"Only a matter of a few hours till the metal vanishes." The silhouette pointed out. Levi glared at him, lowering down his sharpening pace.

"Oh, you mean life? With your skills at least a few years till you're also forced to the grave." The person chuckled in amusement. The sharpening stone missed him and resulted in a dent inside the wall. The blond hadn't even flinched, knowing this situation required no fear of him.

"You know exactly what I mean." Levi growled, squashing the wooden handle in his right hand.

"This is only the beginning. Even if everything goes well." The person muttered, suddenly all serious again. 

"You've become pretty wise since you're dead." Levi smirked, but it didn't do the trick. His partner only smiled back with a saddened expression.

The corporal sighed, the knock on the door was disturbing. He shook his head, wondering if he had gone mad.

"I wish I wouldn't be talking with the dead." He mumbled and shook his head before the door was opened by Hanji.

"Levi? You're alone?" She asked right away in surprise, certain that he had been talking to someone. Levi shrugged tiredly.

"Yes. I'm alone."

* * *

Marco really owed him one.

"The book had a note." Eren started to open up his cards to Jean. In order to fight together they needed to be on the same page and share the same knowledge. 

Jean snorted unamused. "The typical farewell note. How classic." He grumbled and kicked away a stone. Eren scrutinized the man next to him from head to toe. He shook his head.

"No. It was a threat." 

Jean widened his eyes and looked at his comrade, who almost shared the same height as him.

"It was the female titan. She has Armin. That's why they couldn't show a corpse at the funeral." Eren continued, staring at the ground.

"Did they mention his status?" Jean asked in a sick curiosity. Why couldn't he just accept that it's over? Eren shook his head. Jean tried his best to hide his disappointment. Any answer could have been an improvement in their situation. 

"She wants me to turn myself in. Only then she's ready to give back Armin." The two men walked casually through the backyard. Birds were chirping peacefully, ignorant to the crisis going on down on earth.

"You were going to let her take you?" Jean mumbled, touching a stray leaf and ripping it from the bush. Eren chuckled. His eyes were directed to the sky while he was shaking his head.

"Nah. Would only make everyone mad, even Armin. I was going to face her alone and take her down." Just when Jean thought the man had a brain, he proved himself to be capable of living without it, already by the next sentence. Jean groaned and shook his head in disbelief.

"Take her down? Ugh, even you should remember how the last time went down." 

Eren glanced annoyed to the side. "I wasn't prepared." He pouted quietly. Jean didn't want to comment on that, knowing very well that he didn't stand a chance against Annie, whether it was human or titan form.

"Anyway, your plan is already doomed for different reasons." Jean confirmed, a wave of pride pounding through his body.

"Well, enlighten me oh great wise Jean." He rolled his eyes. Eren's mocking attempts were leaking of sarcasm. It triggered Jean's pride heavily.

"You didn't count in the other titan shifters. They're in this, too." Jean was almost bragging with his knowledge. The mentioning of the other Titans though awakened a strange sobriety in Eren.

"Do you happen to know their identities?" He asked hopefully. Jean grinned proudly, his nose lifted to the sky.

"Look who you're talking to. Of course I know the other identities for sure." He bragged thrilled. Eren rolled his eyes before glaring daggers into his comrade.

"Oh please, don't act so smart. It's not like you figured that out all by yourself. You most probably found out by eavesdropping while accidently standing in a dark corner and wailing." Eren retorted with a snort, knowing by Jean's expression that he had actually hit a nerve.

"Totally not..." Jean grumbled barely audible under his breath. Eren giggled maliciously. "Uh hu."

"Anyways now!" Jean drew an invisible line to gain back Eren's attention. "You think you're ready for the most shocking revelation?" Jean asked completely serious. Eren stemmed his hands on his hips. A determined victorious grin was drawn on his face.

"I was born read-"

"Reiner and Bertolt-"

"What?!" Eren whined out in disbelief. He buried his head in his hands.

"This can't be possible." He whimpered betrayed. Jean was aware it was selfish of him, since he had had enough time to recover from this shock. But this was Eren. He didn't really care for his feelings.

"Oh please. Let's not get too emotional." He groaned insensitively. He watched the horror in Eren's turquoise eyes, how they stared into nothing.

"Why?" He whispered hurt. Meanwhile Jean had his hand on his chin, a frown marked on his attractive face.

"In retrospect this was pretty obvious. Given the three are really close and have huge similarities to their titan selves..." He mused calmly. His hands were ripped away and strapped in a tight grip by an insane person.

"Why would they betray us?!" 

"Get off of me!" Jean yelled back at Eren and drew back his hand with the right amount of force. 

"They're our enemies now. Deal with it." Jean grumbled while massaging his massacred wrists. Eren breathed out shakily. Pearls of sweat were reflecting the burning sun while traveling down his skin.

"What are we gonna do? Together we could've brought Annie down, but now? All three of them? Impossible..." Eren shook his head. It bubbled in Jean's belly and was released in roaring laughter.

"Take down Annie? Are you crazy?" He blurted out. Eren narrowed his eyes and glared offended at Jean. 

"That bitch is crazy. What we can do is restrain Bertolt and Reiner. But Annie- no, only someone as crazy as her can be a fair challenge." Jean thought out loudly. He was grinning victoriously when having the right person in mind.

"I'm in."

Eren widened his eyes in disbelief, Jean quietly celebrating in the background.

"You actually believed that crazy story about... Everything!?" Eren blurted out in confusion, since he was still refusing to accept the truth. The other person merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Not really. But it involves protecting you, so it's already decided." Mikasa replied in a monotonous voice. Eren glanced to the side, a weak shimmer of red covering his cheeks. It was embarrassing for him to be protected by a girl, even by a badass like Mikasa. 

"You lucky bastard." Jean growled from the side. For the first time though Eren had a feeling these words were forced.

"Anyway. It was obvious that bitch was dirty." The raven haired girl snarled, clenching her fists.

"Reiner and Bertolt are in this too you know." Jean cleared his throat, but his comment went nearly ignored. Mikasa hated the blonde for beating down Eren and finally she was getting her revenge.

"So what's the plan?" Mikasa asked into the round, the small group of three persons. She didn't mind that they were so little. Made it easier to concentrate.

"Well it's three against three? We're just gonna smash 'em, cuff 'em and bam! Done?" 

Jean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And _that_ Eren is exactly why I'm going to do the planning." Jean looked down at the fuming boy. Mikasa only rolled her eyes when Eren started yelling already.

"I can plan perfectly well! We just take some traps with us, then we even have the element of surprise." Eren bragged with his arms crossed. He didn't see any flaws in his plan, because usually he just went head first in without thinking. Normally he also had Mikasa to save him, only this time she would be fully occupied with Annie.

After a moment of silence for Eren's stupidity, Jean ended his prayers with the soft touch of his right palm and his forehead.

"Traps don't work that way. Nevertheless we already have the element of surprise, since we're one big step ahead. You're not very smart, are you?" Jean sighed calmly. Eren waged Jean's word in his brain.

"Well... Some people would call me intuitive..." Eren muttered painfully slipping into defeat. Jean nodded, his hands secured confidently on his arms.

"Stupidity confirmed."

Eren angrily bared his teeth. Nevertheless he kept them close together, a soothing mantra keeping him from doing something violent to Jean he might regret later.

"You just try not to get eaten in the meantime." Jean advised with a mocking grin. That was the last string to snap for Eren. Anger bubbled in his belly and was released like a volcano.

"You-!" He roared with the power of a titan, before his brain formed a quick witty response. "How 'bout this? Let's eat YOU for a change of actions, ha?!" 

It was like a switch was moved in Jean's brain into killing mode. Immediately his muscles tensed up. His dark silver eyes glared at Eren, his teeth crunching to a threatful music.

"Are you-" Jean started calmly. "-freaking KIDDING MEE?!" He roared back as continuation, his arms thrown back to his sides.

"Care to shut up?! I'm busy imagining how I would CHEW YOUR HEAD!" 

Jean gasped in disbelief.

"YOU wouldn't dare!"

A sickening grin on Eren's head accompanied his frantical nod.

"Oh I would! I would bite your ugly arms away and spit everything out!" He yelled. Jean backed away. "Ugh! Disgusting!" He drew a grimace.

"Because disgusting is what suits you!" Eren fell steps forward when his words provoked Jean to grab him by his chest.

"I would slice your stupid neck so much that your brainless head would fall off!" Jean threatened only seeing red.

"You would?!"

"I freaking would!"

Both heads clashed together by their forehead. They pressed further to push away the weaker opponent, but they were literally on the same strength level. Their only result were visible veins popping out.

"I'd rather die, too than having spent a whole lifetime with you..." It slipped out of Jean's mouth in a low grumble. It even pained in his own chest before Eren could react. He had crossed a line he dearly regretted.

"You bastard!" Eren roared, a wet sparkle in his furious turquoise eyes. He jumped back from Jean, but only to position himself in a fighting stance. His mouth opened wide, ready to bite his prepared hand. Out of reflex Jean activated a clattering sound by pulling out his swords. 

He was stopped from further action by a strong hurting grip on his wrist. With a confused expression he observed his opponent huffing against the hand on his face.

"Stop it! Both of you, immediately!" The woman yelled strongly enraged. She pulled both males nearer to her, therefore she switched the position on Eren's face to his neck.

"In case you've forgotten why we're here, we're doing this for Armin! You don't need to like each other, hell you can continue this nonsense whenever you want! But now I need you to work together!" Mikasa scolded the boys on each side. Their faces were glued to the bottom by shame.

"I never had the chance to say goodbye to Armin. His death was so mysterious and quick... And now there is finally a chance to find out more. I don't have controll, wether I will take Armin into a hug or will say my proper goodbye at the end of this day. But what I can control is that I have the chances to any of these options. I'm not letting you ruin this for me." Mikasa breathed. Her black narrow eyes were sorrowful. Her lower lip was quivering. Her grip went weak and Eren used that chance to entrap Mikasa in a crushing hug. The girl didn't even fight it, but hid her crumbling facade from the public in his neck.

"I'm sorry Mikasa, I'm so sorry." Eren spoke softly into her ear. He was patting her back soothingly. "I'm an idiot. But I will pull myself together. I want to know more about Armin's horrible fate as much as you do." He promised warmly while Mikasa was quietly choking on her tears.

Jean observed this scene perplexed. It pained him in the inside. As much as he loved Armin, he wasn't a part of this. He was just a bystander that was accidentally involved. 

Eren caught Jean staring at them. A slight red colour shimmered on both of their cheeks. Such a scene was uncomfortable if not already embarrassing to them.

"I'm sorry. I went too far there, you know, in the end." Jean confessed with a stammer. He scratched his neck and dodged Eren's eyes.

"It's ok. I'm also sorry. For a moment there I lost my humanity and became the thing I despite so much." Eren let go of Mikasa. The girl wiped away her tears. You wouldn't even notice her having cried during her short breakdown.

Jean merely shrugged. "No big deal. I knew you never really meant anything." 

Eren didn't really nod, just mutter something under his breath and wage his body in a 'maybe'. Jean raised one eyebrow, but before anything could start to escalate again, Mikasa stepped up.

"Ok guys. Let's just forget about everything, let's just drop it, okay?" She asked and glanced at them in a threatening mannerism. The boys gulped and agreed frantically.

"Fine. Let's go." Mikasa sighed and led them away from the open place to a seperate room.

"Just to be clear, we'll be planning this together?" Eren asked. He was walking behind Mikasa directly next to Jean. The soldier looked down on Eren.

"Sure. On one condition." Jean spoke up, earning two warning looks from his friends. "Let me explain the meaning of 'trap' to you."

Eren rolled his eyes in annoyance, Mikasa went back to ignoring both. Upon entering the room she lightened up a candle and placed it on the empty table. 

"I know what traps are-"

"No I think you don't-"

"Traps give you an advantage in a fight." Eren proved his point proudly. Jean shook his head.

"Only if you keep them secret. You also can't attack someone and scream 'SECRET ATTACK'. That gives it away." He argued, with Eren yelling back nonsense. Mikasa tried her best to ignore them, but she caught herself chuckling. Somehow these two idiots were made to fight, over every little thing possible. Those two were like cat and mouse, complete opposites, though both would claim to be the cat.

Mikasa's smile dropped. They still had one similarity. Their relationship to Armin. Both boys liked Armin so much. Though she couldn't shake the feeling away, that something special had been blossoming between Jean and Armin. Mikasa was certain, something could've evolved between the two of them if... if Armin would be still here.

She shook her head. He wasn't and that was the final situation for now. It was up to them what they could change at the end of the day. 

And something would change, definitely.

* * *

Not only her temple left a tray of sweat drops. Her palms were alike. Rubbing both together didn't seem to lessen the liquid. 

It was hot, although it was deep in the night. Stars were shining over her covered head. Her cloak gently hugged her slender but short body. 

She lifted her white sweater to let more wind in. The weak breeze nearly vanished before reaching through the fabric. A typical summer's night. She often used to spend them outside. Well she also spent cold nights outside, depending how much place was left for refugees here in paradise after their arrival.

She heard something rustling. Her head strived through the dark alleyway. Behind her back was an intersection, which lead to two more alleyways.

When she looked back forward, a silhouette was blocking the weak street lights. The woman gasped barely audible, but more importantly, she didn't flinch visibly. It would endanger her superior position. 

She didn't like this. Yes, she was used to be superior no matter what situation. But this here, this was something else. She was holding nothing against her opponent. Maybe she was better prepared, but that was it. What gathered the two persons here was a big fat lie.

The brown haired teen brought up a big book and held it up.

"Here I am, female titan." Eren spoke, completely calm. It was concerning. Her opponent was so calm, as if he knew he'd be leaving as the winner. He would regret underestimating her.

"I'm willing to turn myself in. But first I want to see Armin." Eren placed his one and only condition. The woman swallowed the gigantic lump. This was an obvious turn in actions, but she was prepared. 

"You first." She replied cooly and in a much lower voice. The clattering sound echoed loud through the alleyway, up to the cloudless sky. Eren eyed the handcuffs in amusement. As if these little playthings could hold him down.

"No." He answered in a sassy voice and kicked them away from where the female titan had thrown them. "First I need to see Armin."

Her breath started to hitch, but Eren shouldn't notice this due to their great distance.

"You don't have a say in this. Armin will suffer for your attitude." She hissed at Eren, who didn't look slightly impressed at her statement. She gasped when his expression even turned into a bored one.

"I saw him dying. You can't hurt him anymore. You can't hurt me." 

The arrow hit straight into her heart. She gasped in pain, a small part of her having wished Armin could be still alive, although it would destroy her existence. Obviously Armin wasn't invincible. It made only sense that at some point the blond would die.

"I won't repeat this another time. I want to see his corpse to enable him a proper funeral and say goodbye. So give him back." Eren snarled furiously, trembling everywhere. Somehow this wasn't going as planned, but she still had the upper hand, right?

"I can give you an arm." She grinned evily while taunting the already burning volcano.

She was blinded by the street light reflection in Eren's swords. The clattering sound only added to the atmosphere. The cloaked woman didn't blink at the threat. Although Eren was ready to storm her and chop off her head, she didn't fear him. They could take him down easily. Eren was no threat, no matter how many sharp toothpicks he pulled out.

Surprisingly nothing happened. The woman eyed the pointed tip of the sword directed at her in confusion. That wasn't like Eren. Eren is stupid, some might say blindly jumping into fights. Why wasn't he attacking? Why was he grinning victoriously? What was going on? 

Intuitively the female titan shifter backed one step away. 

**_Check-_ **

"You don't have him, am I right? You don't have Armin Arlert in your grasp, this is all a lame bluff." Eren stated matter of factly. The girl opened her mouth to say no, but would that be fitting her superior position? Was she even having the upper hand right now?

Eren decided for her, speaking before the girl could.

"I was right I guess. This was all an original creation of the female titan." Eren laughed to the ground, his sword still pointed at the woman though the distance guaranteed her certain safety, for now. Turquoise eyes met with silver, following the sharp line up to the end, until meeting with arctic blue ones.

"Or should I call you by your real name, Annie Leonhart?"

**_-mate._ **

The girl gasped, paralysis spreading through her body like a nasty disease. Her torn open eyes were locked onto the boy, the boy which was jumping into the air. A strong wind of gas swooshed through the alleyway. It exposed her of her cloak, her typical blonde hair visible to their small narrow world in between two houses. 

She knew Eren wouldn't kill her. Only bring her to the ground and cut off her limbs. She would be lost, she should shoot into the air herself and flee back home. Her muscles protested though, and so she was left to observe Eren's turquoise eyes coming nearer in slow motion.

Rustling noise and footsteps emerged from behind. For a moment Annie feared they were outnumbered, but in reality she had just forgotten about her teammates Reiner and Bertolt, hiding in the two other alleyways.

They still had the upper hand, three against one. That's what _he_ wanted them to think. It would give them the courage to follow _his_ plans. It was obvious Eren never would've figured everything out alone. Annie knew there were only two people sharp enough to discover her. Number one had been Marco. And the second person just had won.

This was Armin's victory.

Eren howled when Reiner's foot met with his chin and brought him to the ground. Annie didn't observe how both men wrestled on the hard ground for the upper hand. She also didn't witness Eren winning. 

Annie hadn't noticed the two figures emerging from behind Eren's back, just like Reiner and Bertolt in her case. She didn't know that even Bertolt was being hindered by Jean.

All she knew was the dull pain on her nose. The nose that had collided with Mikasa's knee when Eren had disappeared from Annie's view. 

Annie blinked, with returning consciousness. Suddenly reality was much more sharp. She didn't only see the dirty drops of water on the hard concrete, randomly surrounded by crumbles of leftovers and wet dust. No, she also felt it. On her reddened burning chin or the right side of her head. The harsh concrete left a stinging wave on her hip. The rise and fall of her chest pushed mercilessly against a restriction, a painful gasp emerging from her lungs.

"Now I've got you, filthy traitor..." The voice sizzled hatefully into her ears. Annie squirmed, but a shudder overtook her full body.

"We've got 'em!" She heard Eren screaming from somewhere, then a following grunt from Reiner.

"Good. Cuff 'em, gag 'em. We'll bring them behind bars." Jean responded with a good shout. Annie was wondering how they didn't already have an audience. On the other hand, her view was restricted to the ground. She didn't even know by how many they were outnumbered.

"Ha! You think you can lock in the Colossal Titan? You really think?" Reiner barked. Annie could imagine how much Bertolt must wish for his comrade to shut up.

She was yanked up to her feet. Her vision spinned and she would've crashed to the ground like a drunk person, if it weren't for Mikasa behind her. After the nausea vanished, she noticed her hands were cuffed. Her blonde hair was sticking to her cheeks down to her chin. 

Rapidly her eyes scanned her surroundings, but with Mikasa's strong grip there was literally no way to escape. Her body started trembling after witnessing a slight glimpse of Mikasa's dark expression. She was in killing mode.

"Transform." She demanded coldly. Another shiver ran down Annie's spine, but she explained it with Mikasa directly speaking into her ear.

"Transform!" Annie's head snapped away from the volume. Bertolt and Reiner cringed in Jean's and Eren's hold.

"You would only kill your prey and your companions." Mikasa explained with an indifferent expression. "I'd advise you follow our commands from now on."

Knowing it was now or never, Annie rammed her elbow into Mikasa's gut. The girl cringed slightly into the pain, but it was enough for Annie. With her strongest foot she kicked the asian woman into her jaw. Her head fell back and dragged her whole body to the ground. Everything happened in a few milliseconds, too short for any of those men to react. True, Annie lost time when reaching for her swords. Obviously Mikasa had disarmed her right in the beginning. 

With one quick jump Annie landed over Mikasa, gracefully like a cat. The poor girl was knocked out for good, but Annie didn't trust how much it took for a furious Ackerman to find back to the living. Nimbly she fished out two sharp blades and threw them at both her comrades. She didn't hit Eren and Jean, since these two had gathered enough reaction time to dodge. Unluckily her two comrades were hurt due to their hindered ability in movement, but they would heal in a few seconds.

Both Reiner and Bertolt grabbed the blades to free themselves. One fist in their formally captor's gut was enough to bring them down.

"Let's take Eren and flee-" 

Annie's mouth fell open in disbelief. All she saw was Reiner's irritated expression. The pain reached his brain, his face starting to form a horrifying grimace. Only then his body fell to the ground without the support of his legs.

Reiner's painful scream must've echoed through the whole neighborhood. Bertolt and Annie exchanged terrified expressions. 

Something sharp dug through Annie's sides. Her mouth opened to release a scream of pain, anger and desperation. She realized how far she had fallen back. She was caught in the intersection. Where Reiner and Bertolt had used to hide, now their enemies had hidden. Ropes entangled Annie's body. The worst part, she didn't even see her attackers. She didn't see the threat, they were safely hidden in the shadows of the alleyways.

"Bertolt!" She screamed, winding in her trap. The black haired man heard faint footsteps behind his back. Someone was running towards him. Someone who could cut away two legs from a human only by throwing blades.

"Do it!" Reiner yelled, unable to stand up without his legs. Bertolt hesitated, but after his teammates urged him again, he didn't waste a second thought.

His hand shot up to his mouth. In his thoughts he was already biting it. In reality his hand was pinned to the grey wall of the house. The moment he took to realize the arrow in his hand, he also lost the chance to transform. His thighs burned, the rapid blood loss gnawing on his consciousness. By now both hands were glued to the wall by arrows. They were holding him up, since his legs laid uselessly on the ground. The pressure on his palms was the reason for him to see darker, until everything was black without exceptions.

Levi, now standing next to the unconscious Bertolt, huffed in disgust. His glance fell down to the squirming Reiner. Before he could take action, a nearly bald boy ran past him. He went down to cuff Reiner. Instead of a rope Levi brought down his swords into Reiner's palms. He discarded the blade from his handle in such a calmness while Reiner was roaring out his pain. 

The shorter boy nearly fell on his butt, absolute horror marked on his face. A brown haired soldier from the roofs landed next to the soldier, a bow strapped to her back. They were sharing the same expression. No one had told them with whom they'd be dealing. They were just told to follow commands. To disarm their enemies. Sasha and Connie would've never bet their enemies to be their former friends.

First they heard a laugh, only then everyone saw Hanji jumping into view from one of the alleyways. She examined her trap on Annie with delight.

"Shut up four eyes." Levi grumbled with his arms crossed. It was deep in the night, he really didn't need Hanji to be all loud and excited. 

"But we have the female titan!" She looked around herself, her smile even growing much more. "We have every titan shifter! Yahooo!" She cheered, her overcharged Moblit trying to get along with her.

"But how..." Annie breathed exhausted, after giving up on breaking free. The ropes dug into her skin and were too tight. She was starting to loose the feeling in her limbs. "How is that possible..." She winced.

She ignored Christa, who was pulling out Mikasa, still entrapped under Annie somewhere. She ignored the huge glances of pity Ymir threw at her. She ignored everyone who looked down her, no positive emotions left for her.

There was the silent sound of a maneuver gear in action. It echoed innocently in the narrow alley. Nevertheless it sparked horror deep inside Annie. 

She coughed from all the gas that blew into her face. All eyes were directed towards the newcomer with the typical green cloak. The person had landed on one of his knees, silently like a cat. Annie only saw the back, with the gigantic Wings of freedom logo. 

Swords fell clattering to the ground, when the person straightened himself calmly. Waves of gasps travelled through the mass of soldiers that had gathered this night.

Annie meant to know who the person was. She was happy and disturbed, but she didn't want to believe anything before she didn't see the face. And it took ages for the person to turn around. It was even slower than slow motion. Every single movement of his shoes crunched loudly in her head, while her surroundings turned mute.

Everything stayed that way. No one said anything. Not even then when warm blue eyes glanced at her. Slender fingers lifted up the hood to reveal his golden blond hair. He had no smile on his face, but Annie would always recognize him. She didn't know if it was relief rushing through her body or new born horror. 

She parted her dry and broken lips. Almost no sound escaped her mouth. The person kneeled down to her eye level. There was no hatred in these blue eyes, no anger, none of those emotions she recognized with everyone else. There was only sadness.

"How-" She mouthed, not believing the imagination in front of her. She was speechless. For the first time in her life she was completely at a loss for words. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the false imagination in front of her. She was going mad, she was going crazy!

"Why Annie?" The words were innocent. Soft, but with such an impact. The guilt pushed out every logical sense. Her mouth parted into a desperate grimace.

"Armin!"

* * *

The imagination didn't disappear.

"Why would you do such things, Annie?" The constant mentioning of her name made her restless. The other soldiers were staring at her in fear. Oh no, she really was crazy. Talking to a dead person.

"I never wanted to kill you, but... I had to. You wouldn't understand." She whimpered, closing her eyes. She couldn't stand seeing the dead illusion of her friend.

"No. I wouldn't." It came surprisingly harsh of Armin's lips. Annie opened her eyes in shock. He was still here.

"But I could try to understand. If you would only tell me." Armin reasoned peacefully. His hand touched her shoulder. It felt so real to Annie. Everything about Armin felt so real.

"No. It's too late." She muttered. A smile found Armin's face. It warmed Annie's heart.

"How do you come to that conclusion? I'm here, aren't I?" He chuckled and spread his hands to his sides. Annie was glad everyone else was quiet, but maybe she was keeping them faded out.

"Yeah, sure." She sobbed, but upon seeing his smile, the corners of her mouth couldn't really resist either. Armin's smile turned even more brightly.

"So? What do you say if we share a talk? Just for good old times sake." Annie enjoyed his voice so much, it disturbed when Reiner broke the bubble Armin and Annie had built up to ignore their surroundings.

"Don't fall for him Annie! He's-" Reiner was interrupted by Levi kicking out one of his teeth. But it was enough to make her question everything, even the beautiful figure in front of her. How could Reiner see him, too?

"How long have you known?" She blurted out, confused by how this question seemed to bug her the most.

"Mh, you mean about your identity? Or about you guys murdering Marco?" He asked innocently. Annie would've backed away if not being in this minimized titan trap. She had never told him about Marco. So how- did they meet? Up there?

"You should've sticked to your own maneuver gear. To think I wouldn't notice a dear friend's project was naive of you." He chuckled, but he couldn't hide the sadness in his ocean blue eyes. Armin often chuckled to hide his sadness.

"Then you've already known a long time, haven't you?" She croaked. Armin nodded. 

"Why haven't you acted earlier?" She continued. It soothed her, how Armin was superior, but had no problems in answering her questions.

"Maybe I never wanted to believe. I never thought a friend among us could do something horrible like this. I kept it to me, so I wouldn't bother anyone else with this uncertainty. But after the female titan incident... You could be free if you would've killed me there, you know that, right?" He mentioned. Now it was Annie's time to nod.

"I know you see me as a monster, but I never wanted to kill Marco. As much as I didn't want your blood on my hands." She confessed, her head dropping to the ground. Armin observed her carefully, eventually shaking his head.

"I don't see you as a monster. I don't like the terms good person or bad persons anyway. To us you may appear as a bad person. To others you may be a good person, Annie. To whom? That is my question." Armin asked with unnatural calmness. "Probably by whoever wants Eren's titan, that's for sure. But who is this person? Or better said, who are they?" He added after Annie's lifeless body didn't make any attempts in answering. She opened her eyes, struck by a realization.

Maybe paradise really had a chance to survive. She saw the important pieces. 

Two Ackermans.

Eren Yaeger.

Armin Arlert.

Take at least one piece away, and everything will crumble.

"You know already much more than you should've figured out, Armin." She realized. Mentioned person ducked his head to see her eyes. To read her mind like an open book.

"You should've become a strategist. Your plans are truly brilliant, excellent." She looked around herself. They were hurt, trapped and outnumbered. Armin had outdone himself with his plan.

Annie dearly wished they could end this differently. So they could stop this endless killing. Stop this never ending discrimination. This brainless war.

But she had faced it long ago. Peace wasn't strong enough. It was easier to kill your opponent than to change his mind with words. And as long as she couldn't be convinced there was a little hope left to change how things are going, Annie would continue killing herself from the inside.

"But Armin, there is one flaw in your _flawless_ plan." She looked up and met again those two blue orbs. Those two wonderful blue eyes. Real eyes. They portrayed fear. He couldn't read her. These weren't the eyes of a dead one. But they would be.

"Gathering us all here. I'd kill my own comrades with transforming." Annie sighed. Armin widened his eyes even more. It was satisfying to see that she held the power to destroy Armin's master plan.

From the distance, movement could be detected. Slightly delirious Jean opened his eyes. Another punch in his gut landed, but it was only nausea. When he tried to blink the vagueness away, what he saw was an angel. An angel in distress, talking with the crazy devil.

"But-"

Armin gasped, seeing the needle jump out of Annie's ring. His body didn't respond to his fear. Annie wouldn't- No she wouldn't!

Annie locked eyes with him, an insane grin planted on her lips. That's when Armin knew she would. Though he knew _he_ wouldn't make it in time.

"-what makes you think I actually CARE!"

"NO!" He cried, but it was overlapping with a different, more deeper voice. Annie's thumb scratched the sharp and pointy metal. The last thing Armin heard was a big powerful explosion, that sent out a powerful sound wave, knocking him out immediately.

But the last thing he saw, was Jean. His distressed face. How he dashed desperately towards Armin. One hand reached out.

Armin was glad he could leave this world with Jean as his last image.


	7. At the Well, When the Sun is on Top of the Trees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOP! WAIT!  
> Please wait to read this chap if you don't recall the meaning of the title. In that case review chapter 2 to ensure that the feelings can really kick in.  
> You remember it? Good. Seatbelt on, hot chocolate in your left, tissue in your right and let the drama begin!  
> (Also I'm sorry this took longer than promised. I'm keeping this honest, I forgot about it. Anyways, have fun!)

_I think there are times people have to die... Even if I don't like it._

_~Armin Arlert_

* * *

The flowers danced gently in the mild breeze. The warmth nestled on his exposed skin, sending shivers down his spine. Brown hairs winded capriciously, entangled in the travelling mild wind.

His lips released a message, a tired sigh into the wind, for it to carry it far away.

Jean Kirschtein had become a soldier to enter the military police. To bath in safety and enjoy luxury as soap. He used to laugh over his naive friend who really desired to serve their king. And especially he used to laugh over Eren Yeager, who had made it his personal goal to kill every titan.

After Marco's death, it became much harder for Jean to look away. To sit tight and see the world crumble bit by bit. 

Jean had rolled his eyes at Ymir, who obviously had tried her best to bring Christa to the military police, but eventually followed her to the scouting legion, aka. Death. 

Only a few days later though he had found himself in the same position, when Armin decided to assign his life to the scouting legion. Sure, Marco's death had brought him to overthink his position, but it was eventually Armin who chose for him. Jean didn't trust Eren to keep an eye on him and Mikasa was too focused on getting Eren out of trouble. So who would slay the titan to save Armin from getting eaten?

Of course it was impossible to protect a certain soldier on the field. Jean as well as Ymir learned this the hard way, when both blondes were assigned somewhere else on the field.

The whole mission had been a nightmare. Jean had been prickly all the time, nervously controlling Armin's area from the distance. He always imagined coming back and never find Armin smiling at him again. He feared his last conversation with Armin had already happened for good.

His concerns had been almost confirmed by the black signal in the sky, coming from where Armin was supposed to be. If he would've known it was even his Armin who set it off, he would've jumped straight into an open titan mouth.

Reiner had advised to stay away from the area. In retrospect it made sense to Jean. It was important for the traitor that the female titan wouldn't be disturbed. Jean on the other hand had urged him to get there as fast as possible. The blond man had eyed him suspiciously with a mock in his hazelnut eyes. Jean had ignored him strictly.

Finding Armin had been a huge relief, no matter in how much shock the boy was. Jean had given his best to act like his typical self, if not even a little bit harsh on Armin than he would be with him in private. 

It was nothing against Armin. Jean had liked the boy instantly. He had found him handsome and attractive by first sight. Well, he's not going to lie, sometimes he couldn't keep Armin and Christa apart. Still he couldn't really feel the same attraction towards the girl than he did for the boy. His blue orbs always reflected such a peaceful calmness, his appearance radiating a gentle touch. True, Christa was known to be the goddess, but somehow it wasn't the same with Armin. He seemed so much more real.

Furthermore it wasn't a big secret Jean had a thing for Mikasa. But who could blame him? The Asian woman was beautiful, skilled and amazing. Secretly Jean bet every boy had at least a little crush on her.

Though over the time, his affection to her crumbled. Every time she mentioned Eren's name a little piece got lost. Every time Armin bestowed him with a pure smile he found back the affection he had lost. 

Soon all his of his adoration to Mikasa had become a charade. A facade to keep up his straight and confident identy. But mostly, it helped him to flirt with Armin without anyone raising suspicion.

In private though, Jean couldn't lie to himself. He had fallen in love with the pretty boy and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. The least he could do was enjoy his presence and protect him as much as possible. 

Therefore it was pretty much an obvious turn in events, that Jean would've almost died in the field. But well, there was Jean, the typical macho, the flirt, the show off... And there was Armin, his secret crush. His most important goal was to protect Armin, obviously. His second goal though was to bragg how he brought down the abnorm and bath in Armin's admiration. The mere imagination of Armin biting his lower lip and look up at Jean with a playish hint in his eyes, gosh it sent down excited tingles through Jean's body.

Of course it didn't end how Jean would've dreamed of. Without Armin ranting some lies Jean would've died that day. And for what? To see Armin bite his lip in adoration? It was more likely Armin would've rolled his eyes at Jean. 

After their unsuccessful mission Jean was breaking his head on how to achieve these things from Armin in a much easier way, without almost killing himself.

_A date._

_Just ask him out_ , was the simple answer. It had been an advice of Marco, when he had been still alive.

_"Him?" Jean questioned irritated._

_"Oh? I thought we were talking about Armin." Marco confessed with his dorky laugh. Jean hit his best friend playfully, but he couldn't imagine how Marco came to that conclusion._

_"I was obviously talking about Mikasa." Jean grumbled and crossed his arms. Why would he ever ask out a boy? Even if it was such a pretty one like Armin. Golden hair, peaceful blue orbs, a warm smile and a beautiful laugh-_

_"-even now you're looking after Armin. I bet my lunch you didn't even get our whole conversation, too occupied staring after Armin." Marco explained his point of view, making Jean turn on his seat with a red face._

_"Totally not true!" He yelled, easily enraged by small things. Somehow it felt harder to ignore Armin exiting their cafeteria than expected._

_Marco caught the short movement of Jean's eyes towards Armin and back. He snorted in amusement._

_"Mh, sure. I'mma keep my lunch, just so you know." Marco grinned and stood up from their table. Jean slammed his palms frustrated on the wood, still he followed Marco outside._

_"Anyways. You're saying I should ask out Mikasa, right?" He walked quickly to catch up with Marco. They left the warm safety of the house and were exposed to the cold darkness outside._

_Marco mused for a second. "Mh, no."_

_Jean blinked confused. "Why not?" He mumbled irritated._

_"She's too focused on Eren. She would dump you. Aand I'm rooting for you and Armin." Marco giggled honestly. For another time the heat rushed into Jean's head. This night he had mostly concentrated on separating Marco and the idea Jean had a thing going on with Armin._

Jean smiled melancholically when he realized how sharp Marco had been. He wondered if he had been secretly celebrating up there in the sky when he had asked out Armin. And afterwards saved from an explosion.

Jean lost his smile when he remembered how much time he had lost. If he would've listened to Marco sooner, maybe he and Armin could've shared some wonderful moments. A relationship beyond just being friends. 

Even when his death couldn't be avoidable. At least Jean could've felt the touch of Armin's lips on his. His warm breath on his neck. His well formed hips in Jean's hands. His slender body under his own. 

Now he was standing here alone.

Here at the well, with the sun balancing on top of the trees. 

The flowers hung lifeless in his grasp. Beautiful, yes they were very beautiful. They shined brightly in every possible color. Jean had watched to pick them in some sort of a contrast, whatever. The bouquet contained innocent white flowers, elegant red ones (Jean didn't really know their names), mild pink ones, but most importantly wonderful blue flowers. Just like Armin's eyes. 

Though they rested in Jean's hands.

The sun was falling down slowly, like a feather it took it's time. It would disappear, like the sun of his life had, leave him alone in the cold darkness. 

His eyes began to burn, but he refused to blink. He refused to blink as much as his lungs refused to breath.

Only his heart, his heart kept working cruelly.

Exhausted his head fell down, his chin pounding on his chest. The ground was extraordinary brown on this spot, but the rest was luckily juicy green. A few flowers were blooming shyly. 

Armin would've liked this place.

Jean debated over his further actions. Lay the flowers to the ground and leave or spend the night here. All of this, it was too much. It brought back memories of his worst day. 

Armin's funeral.

"Hey? I hope you haven't been waiting for long." A marvelous voice reached his ears. The sound was weak and small, but it had a gigantic impact on Jean. Unwillingly the corners of his mouth lifted into a huge grin. His heart skipped a beat, and another. Lightly like a gazelle.

He turned around, looking forward to be astouned by an angel.

"You never told me from which angle. I have been waiting here for hours." Jean laughed. He knew that was all in his opponent's plan. The other person was happy to hear Jean had waited this long. Still the boy was acting so innocent. It was irritating, only making Jean grin wider.

"Oh did I? Sometimes I happen to be very clumsy." The blond boy chuckled in amusement.

"Armin and clumsy? Does these two even fit together?" Jean raised one eyebrow. One corner of Armin's mouth lifted mockingly into a sly smile.

"You can try to find out." He opened his challenge to Jean, before continuing to close the large distance between them. When Armin was suddenly so near, it hit Jean. His pulse sped up. Sweat broke through his skin, especially staining the white fabric under his armpits. The awkward silence between them didn't help the situation. 

Jean knew he needed to say something, but his only thoughts were _this is a date this is a date this is a date this is a date this is a date oh my gosh!_

Armin's eyes travelled through his surroundings, desperately trying to find something that could stop this awkward silence. His eyes landed down on Jean's hands.

"Oh? You picked flowers?" He noticed, a warm smile drawn on his face. Jean's hand holding the flowers shot up to hide his red face.

"Y-yeah! I found them, just, standing there, next to the road. I- Thought I might bring them, you know. To make a comfortable atmosphere." He stammered helplessly. That he forgot to mention how much thought he put into this bouquet, irrelevant. Oh gosh, why couldn't he just leave and dig his own grave. At least this couldn't get worse.

"You like them?" He asked and straightened his hand towards Armin. Back to Murphy's law, this date just got a whole lot worse.

"Mh! Yeah... It's quite lovely, if not directly stuck to my face." Armin chuckled and took over the flowers. With more distance he could observe Jean's work better. 

"You're not experienced in picking a bouquet?", was the next horror message. Jean's eyes widened, but he tried to keep his cool.

"Since when do you need experience to pick up flowers?" He recorded in a mocking tone. He stemmed his hands on his hips, happy to wear his leather jacket or else the sweat stains would be visible.

Armin raised one eyebrow. "Jean, there's literally one bulb hanging down from one of the flowers." Armin explained bluntly.

Jean blinked irritated at him. "And?"

Armin shook his head and sighed. With his nails he pinched away the little bulb. He crouched down and started digging after putting the bouquet next to him on the ground. It didn't matter that dirt would cover most of his hands, even under his nails. Gently he placed down the little baby and used the dirt as a blanket. He snaked past Jean to the well, who was observing Armin's work in awe. The blond boy cupped his hands and transported the clean water, pouring it over the chosen spot.

"It looks like we need to keep a close eye on our little sprout." Armin looked up to Jean, clapped the dirt from his hands and straightened his body to his full height. He picked up the bouquet and scrutinized it with a frown.

"Looking for more flaws." Jean huffed and crossed his arms, looking away from Armin. Nevertheless the blue eyes found their way back to Jean's.

"Nope. Just admiring the white flower with the dark silver sparks. Reminds me of your eyes." Armin chortled and closed his eyes in delight. Jean felt the heat rise into his face again, only this time his heart jumped up to the moon.

"You know, the blue flowers are like your eyes as well." Jean pointed out shyly. Armin acknowledged his opinion and scanned the flower. His frown turned into a gentle smile.

"I think you might be right. See this flower? It's actually called Iris sibirica." Armin pointed at one of the Arctic blue flowers. "And this one? This is a Brunerra macrophylla." He named the light blue flower. It had the exact same color like Armin's eyes, even more matching than the first blue flower.

"Do you happen to know the meaning of blue flowers?" Armin asked openly. Jean admired how smart the boy was. Or the satisfaction streaming through his body when Armin gladly shared his knowledge. Jean shook his head, a dreamy look on his face.

"The blue flower represents the desire for the infinite, the yearning for distance or even traveling. To get out and see something." Armin explained with a visible desire in his blue eyes, as he looked towards the wall where it parted with the clear sky.

"That's very fitting to you." Jean noticed dreamily. Armin smirked at him mockingly.

"The blue flower is also a symbol for love and romance." 

Jean coughed, accidentally choking on his own spit after hearing Armin's words. Maybe the boy wasn't so clueless as Jean had expected?

"Jean? You good?" Armin laughed while clapping Jean's back. Oh this was so embarrassing. This could literally not go worse. Though already knowing his luck, Jean concluded especially now it would get worse.

"There? Better?" Armin asked calmly. Jean nodded embarrassed. 

The blond boy suggested to sit down, since he admired the green grass so much. He chortled in delight, feeling the mildly wet grass stalks between his fingers. 

Jean leaned his head in his palm, watching Armin tell him a crazy story 'bout... well Jean didn't really remember about what. All that mattered to him was to see Armin's lighthearted attitude, joyfully blabbering about anything. 

_"So? And what if she says yes to me?" Jean grumbled, glaring at his best friend from the side. He almost didn't see his face, since it was already so dark._

_Marco mused with an amused smile on his lips. "IF that should be the case, I'm of course happy for you." Marco replied with a mixed expression, something Jean couldn't point his finger on._

_"Sure, that's to be expected. But what should I do?" Jean ignored the issue and continued with the bigger one. How to win Mikasa._

_"You're asking me because I have the best understanding with people. So why do you even want my advice on what to do in such an impossi-"_

_"Marco!"_

_"Geez, fine fine." His friend huffed offended. He didn't want to awaken hopes in Jean that would certainly crush. Not only that, he already knew Jean was getting himself obsessed to be someone he wasn't. To force himself into loving Mikasa. To fake emotions._

_Marco was also familiar that Jean dreamed to become a military soldier. So if he was interested in love, it should be safely staffed behind the inner walls. A comfy life, where the woman adores the man and plays the housemaid. That was the least Jean would find within the military._

_"Just tell her pretty words." Marco adviced badly, even Jean recognized that._

_"Be serious Marco." He threatened with a playful punch. Marco didn't bother to fight it, his body just moved with the fist and returned tiredly back to the middle. How was he supposed to give honest advice if he couldn't? Wait..._

_Marco smiled victoriously. "Honesty. That's what they all like. Tell her, how much she means to you. How you see her and enjoy every second of it. How her voice makes your heart skip a beat and how her absence tightens your chest, making it unbelievable hard to breathe. Making it impossible to live a life without her. Because you can't imagine a day without drowning in these shining blue eyes." Marco breathed out, proud but exhausted of his monologue. Jean meanwhile scowled irritated._

_"That's weird. Seems too cheesy for someone like- Hang on there a second." Jean's head snapped back to Marco, who held up his hands in defeat with a loopsied grin._

_"BLUE eyes? Are you kidding me?" Jean roared and pointed a finger at Marco. He was loosing his last nerve with his friend._

_Marco shrugged his shoulders. "You wanted a fair answer, I gave you one. Only that Mikasa didn't fit in." He defended his opinion convinced of himself. It only resulted in enraging Jean even more._

_"I am NOT crushing on Armin!" He bellowed, catching the attention of other bypassing cadets. He grabbed an amused Marco by his shoulder and repeated his words in a lower frustrated voice._

_"We already heard it the first time!" Marco barked in shalling laughter. He tolerated Jean's palm covering his mouth, if only for a few seconds._

_"You're crazy. He's a boy." Jean argued in a quiet voice. Marco sucked in air after Jean released him of the improvised gag._

_"So?"_

_Jean shot him back a look. What was that now supposed to mean?_

_"Who cares who you love." Marco snorted, knowing pretty well how less he minded. Jean glanced at Marco as if he was stupid._

_"Like everyone? It would ruin my reputation." Jean shot back annoyed._

_Marco's eyebrows lifted up. "Was that just a confession I heard there?" He insinuated with a cocky grin._

_"No?" Jean stated in irritation._

_Marco huffed, giving up on talking some sense into his best friend. If his reputation was more important to him than his personal happiness, fine by Marco. "Alright. But whatever Mr. Grumpy here pouts, I still believe you two would be cute together." Jean looked away. "If you wouldn't constantly spy on him that is." Marco added with returning amusement._

_"I'm not-" Jean complained loudly._

_"You do! Can you imagine the amount of awkwardness when you spy on him during sleep time? That's creepy, you stalker!" Marco scolded his friend playfully._

_"Well a man's gotta look somewhere if there's nothing pretty left."_

_Marco opened his mouth in shocking delight. Hearing humour in Jean's voice lightened up both their moods._

_"See? We're slowly getting somewhere!" Marco chortled and stubbed Jean's shoulder. His muscles slumped down with the touch._

_"We're getting nowhere." Jean promised all cranky and grouchy again. Marco didn't let his good mood get ruined by this. He breathed in satisfied and clapped Jean on his back._

_"Baby steps, Jean. Baby steps."_

Jean smiled nostalgically. He was a lucky bastard. Luckily his best friend and advisor had shipped Jearmin so much. Therefore he still had his actual advice for this situation. Although this was completely useless if Armin didn't feel the same for him. Though when Jean remembered Armin's happy smile and his excitement in his eyes after Jean asking him out... Maybe this feeling was mutual.

He pulled himself together, ready to jump into the ice cold water without any doubts. 

Now or never.

"Armin, I nee-" Jean lost his words upon seeing Armin's weak expression. Sadness and disappointment was troubling the boy. 

Oh no. Did Jean space out too much? Was it his fault that Armin looked so down? How stupid could one person be to mess things up before they've even started? This day was a complete disaster.

"Jean..." 

Self extermination will be proceeded in three-

Armin opened his mouth already.

-ONE!

"Do you realize we have achieved nothing?"

...

Oh. So this wasn't about Jean in the slightest. Armin wasn't disappointed in Jean, but in himself.

"What do you mean by that?" Jean recorded and pushed himself nearer to the boy. Armin sunk deeper into himself, his arms hugging his legs.

"You know? The thing with Annie and, the rest." Armin muttered, eyes locked to the ground. Where was all of that confidence in Armin's voice?

"You serious? Now we know the identities of humanity's greatest enemies! We exposed the traitors, that's a big step ahead!" Jean sounded pathetically. Armin glanced at him.

"So? All we did was making it worse since they fight us directly now." 

"You do realize they couldn't have hold up the ruse forever. The sooner the better." Jean concluded, satisfied with his way of handling things. Armin looked at Jean, a bitter sweet anger in his eyes.

"This isn't just about fighting, Jean. This is about knowledge we didn't gain! None of our questions were answered. In the contrary, we received more questions and less answers." He ranted. With a heavy sigh his head fell down into his open palms.

"It wasn't good enough. **I** wasn't good enough. My plan was a failure."

Jean's hand reached out, but retracted in uncertainty. His chest tightened, but he didn't know what to do. What could he do to help this broken boy? He wasn't the man for that. Marco was. Jean, he is harsh, always keeping to the truth no matter how painful.

So what was the truth?

They did fail.

Annie had transformed before their very eyes. Most of his comrades had managed to flee the alleyway. Upon seeing Armin, Jean had dashed towards the danger, pushing him and the boy to the left alleyway. After houses had exploded, they had been buried for a good while, definitely trapped for the whole fight. Jean had fought against the squashing boulders, against the fear of being trapped forever. Armin hadn't opened his eyes for another week.

Shortly after Jean, Mikasa and Eren had woken up as well. Eren had transformed, fighting Annie with everything he got. Some might say with the rage of avenging his dead friend. 

When the female titan was in certain defeat and her flight over the wall went badly wrong, the woman got entrapped inside invincible crystal. It turned out impossible to reach out to her. She was completely disabled.

To her male traitorous friends, they survived, sadly against everyone's belief. When help turned up to free every corpse, they never found Reiner nor Bertolt. 

They needed weeks to build up again. Weeks for wounds to heal. Weeks to restore their safety inside the walls.

The truth was, this mission brought more holes than the finest cheese could offer. More problems than solutions existed More pain that it could ease.

But Jean was aware this had another truth. 

The humans inside the wall were repaid with a small victory. Now they could fight against a visible enemy. They could finally move forward, and all of this thanks to Armin.

The blond boy flinched when the hand met with his shoulder.

"You know-" Jean started, shifting to a more comfortable position on his butt. He leaned forward to get a better look of Armin's eyes. "Somebody wise told me once to achieve great things you need to be able to pay a certain price." 

Armin lifted his head. He was struck with realization while still staring into his hands.

"Someone who can't sacrifice anything, can't ever change anything." Armin muttered in recognition of his own quote. As the last vocals left his lips, his gaze shifted to Jean.

"You sure he was wise?" 

Jean was taken aback for a second, though he didn't need to think long. He responded with a convinced nod.

"Oh I'm very sure, trust me. Can you believe what amazing things he achieved? He saved Trost, lately beat three titan shifters-" 

"You know that wasn't-"

"-And only with his brain!" Jean finished before Armin could destroy it. The other boy closed his mouth in defeat, a small smile found his lips. Everything was worth it for Jean.

It disappeared the same time a cloud blocked the wonderful sunset.

"It's kind of you Jean, really. But you shouldn't do that to you. I'm a pessimistic perfectionist. I will always regret how I couldn't be smarter, stronger or more competent." Armin confessed, sinking into himself again. Jean observed his body language.

"That sure is a pain in the ass." He mused loudly. "Guess I'll take the role as the optimistic dork that cheers you up whenever necessary." 

Armin paused puzzled at the sight of Jean's challenging smirk. "That's going to be arduous." He inclined. 

Jean shrugged disinterested. "Role is given, no take backs."

Armin leaned forward to look Jean into his eyes. He needed to prove his severity.

"You will regret this." 

Jean smirked seductively. "Make me." 

Armin fell back on his butt. His lips parted in an unintended smile.

"Aww..." Armin cooed. Jean grinned to his ears proudly. "That's so stupid." Armin ended with a cocky smirk. Jean's expression turned into an insulted pout. He gasped surprised in delight when the blond head met with his shoulder. The sun warmed his back.

"But also very sweet." Armin added, eyes closed in content. Jean acknowledged his crush leaning against his arm with his heart jumping in circles. He breathed out of his nose and closed his eyes, but he was so thrilled. He wanted to crush the boy in his arms and spin him around.

"I love you..." He purred behind closed eyes. It just rolled down his tongue, there was nothing he could do about it. The place where Armin's head had been resting froze immediately.

"What did you just say?" 

.

.

.

Oh crap did he say that out loud.

...

Armin glared expectantly at Jean, waiting for him to answer. He raised his eyebrows.

Yep, he sure did say that out loud.

Heat returned to his face, a waterfall of sticky sweat washed over his body. He needed to defuse this situation as careful as possible.

"I-i said, well I believe I said I love, like friendship love... Soup." He stammered pathetically. Armin's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Soup is... Super. It's- it really is something special to me, not that I would kiss it or something. I mean, I do touch it with my lips, but I don't- I never believed that could be counted as, you know...?" Jean risked a short glance down. He only had known Armin for a few years. They hadn't been that close. Still Jean recognized that look.

_You tell me now the truth or I'll force you, last chance._

Jean sighed in defeat. His head lolled down to the side. He always knew not to mess with Marco. After seeing what Armin was capable of, he feared him even more than Marco.

"Alright, alright. I know you heard it the first time well enough. I'm not going to push it aside as my hormones going crazy and that my words were meaningless, because..." Jean hesitated and looked away from Armin. He was blinded by the sun which was already hiding behind the trees. Sun beams were escaping through the little gaps between the trees.

"Because they aren't. I've had feelings for you since... I think it goes well back to the time where we had been cadets." Jean scratched the back of his head. Armin didn't move. He was sitting straight, like paralyzed, and swallowed hard. Jean ignored him. He needed to if he intended to end what he had foolishly started.

"Anyway. It's just that I think you deserve the truth to know... and..." The man rubbed his palms nervously. He was completely at a loss for words. When was the last time he had been so nervous? Wasn't he the lucky bastard?

Wait, he actually was.

"No matter how fucked up this world is, whenever I see or talk to you it gets a million times better. A day without you feels like shit. 

I never cared if my presence risked a fight with stupid Eren. I welcomed the bruises with open arms if I could just see you and drown in your wonderful blue eyes. 

I never built up the courage to tell you- I might be strong, but I'm not like you. You are smart, kind, brave, funny, gorgeous and so much more. You are a totally different liga. 

After I lost you I realized how much you actually meant to me. I noticed I wouldn't even be standing here without you." Jean risked a look down to Armin. He wouldn't ask himself why Armin was trembling. Or why his eyes were dangerous wet. He just wouldn't ask. 

"Listen." He grabbed the limp hands of Armin. He flinched and locked his eyes with those of Jean. "I never wanted to love, because in the end we're all gonna die young. After you died though, I realized that love wasn't in my control. You mean the world to me and... I can't imagine wasting another second pretending just to be friends. I love you, Armin." He confessed, a red shimmer on both their cheeks. Armin let the words ooze into his brain. He nodded slowly, as if his head weighed more than a titan. It was... hard to process everything.

"So this is a date, hu?" He replied dryly. He shifted on his butt to his knees. 

Although he hadn't received a proper answer yet, the titan climbed down from Jean's shoulders. He had been sick of carrying the weight of the chaos of his feelings. Whatever would happen now wasn't in his control. Neither was it with Armin. It was, yes... sounds cheesy, but the fate laid with love. Jean had learned that you didn't choose who to love, but your heart chose for you.

"Well yeah." Jean shrugged calmly, unnaturally chill compared to before. "I guess we can call it a date, but if you don't feel the same way you could leave any ti-"

There it was.

The world paused for a moment.

His lungs stopped working.

His heart stopped beating.

This was it.

The moment he had been dreaming of. 

Now that it was really happening, Jean needed time to register. It was actually happening. 

Armin and his own lips were sealed together.

It wasn't even a shy kiss. Armin had grabbed him abruptly by his collar and pulled him down on his level. The kiss tasted like the long wanted desire exploding colorfully in the sky.

As sudden as it had appeared it ended. Jean's craving body longed for more touches. His head slightly moved after the lips before he caught himself again. 

He blinked rapidly. Upon seeing Armin he knew it hadn't been a dream.

"I wasn't prepared, we should repeat that." Jean blurted out wearily, the wonderful unique smell of Armin lingering in his nose. 

A knowing smirk appeared on Armin's face and he tilted his head challenging. The last beams of the sun mixed with the blue in his eyes. Jean realized he wouldn't get so soon another kiss from him. The boy was unpredictable and hard to catch.

Jean laughed lightly, rubbing the short hair on the back of his head. "I never would've taken you for that type." He confessed honestly. There was no time to fear he had said something wrong, Armin handled it lightly.

"What do you mean?" He asked curiously. 

Jean shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I would've thought you have some personal rules, like only kissing after the third date or something like that." He explained, now that he said it out loud it sounded weird. 

Armin giggled, which resulted in loud laughter. "Rules? Why would I want something like that even in my private love life?" 

Jean shrugged his shoulders embarrassed. "I- I don't know. You seem like the kind of person who likes to set rules. To keep things light and breezy?"

Armin widened his eyes at Jean's words. "Light and breezy? That's how you kill a spark before it hasn't even started, Jean." 

Jean glanced away in embarrassment. "I guess I kinda gave it my best shot today at ruining things." He sighed disappointed. He was rewarded with an insensitive snort.

"Not gonna lie, you were a pretty bad friend today."

Jean tensed up. He threw a cold look over his shoulders at the surprisingly mean boy.

"But... you were a better boyfriend though." Armin ended quietly with a soft blush on his cheeks. He dared to look up at Jean, the blue now much more intense since the sun was gone. 

"You are truly full of surprises." Jean chuckled relieved. Relieved that he hadn't screwed up as bad as he had thought. That Armin also liked clumsy Jean.

"You sure you signed up for this?" Armin cast him a cocky glance, but Jean recognized the shy insecurity. With a laugh he pulled Armin's frail shoulders into a weird hug, since they were sitting side to side.

"Every new facet will be an adventure. How could I be disappointed having caught my dream boy?" 

Armin smirked widely, cocking an eyebrow at the word caught. "Caught? Oh Jean, you have no clue who you're dealing with. Just for the record, the first kiss goes on me." He leaned back and enjoyed the theater.

"You? How- that's unfair! It was _me_ who did all the preparation, and confession-" Jean rambled, slightly noticing the amusement on Armin's face. Before he could think the blond boy jumped into life and placed his lips on Jean's. 

Again Jean's eyes were wide open by surprise, but he smoothly fell in.

"You talk too much..." Armin breathed on his lips, before Jean could seal both lips again. With a surprised gasp Armin fell back, straddled by Jean. He purred satisfied, feeling Jean over him. Jean enjoyed his unique scent, his soft skin. It was like a dream.

Weeks ago he would've never imagined this to be possible. Not after Armin had been brought into the nurse office in a rush. Not after Levi had informed them of Armin's sudden death.

Of course Jean understood. After everything was over, his rational brain understood everything. Never meant it didn't hurt. It hurt so much that Armin had played his death, only informing Levi what had happened.

_"We didn't know what would happen exactly, but my death played a relevant role in trapping the three titan shifters." Armin explained, his hands gripping tightly to his blanket of his lonely hospital bed. Not only he was tense. His friends as well, who listened to Armin's confession. Levi sat at the window, drinking his tea and casting a few glances at the young soldiers sometimes._

_"Bu-but how? I saw you dying? You passed out in my arms!" Eren stammered, fighting confused against tears. Every limb was trembling._

_"Yeah, about that. The water was kind of poisoned." Armin looked down on the white blanket. His headache was getting worse. Not even the pain killers could help. The boulder had made a significant damage on his head, he needed the bandages changed today._

_Mikasa clapped one hand over her mouth in shock. Eren flinched. "I- I didn't know..." He muttered, remembering too well how he had urged Armin to drink._

_"I know. But don't worry, I never drank of it. It was just pretend." Armin revealed. It sounded ridiculous. Everything was ridiculous. Like it was never serious, because it was all happy pretend._

_"I eventually passed out because I tried to hold my cough. My throat was so raspy."_

_Eren shook his head. Both hands travelled through his hair and he walked through the room. He stared out of the window. It was uncomfortable silent._

_"You know I'm sorry. You are very bad actors, the only way to make it believable for those three-"_

_"-was to fool us as well. I get it." Eren ended bluntly. Armin sighed, his hopeful face dropped upon seeing Eren's disappointed expression._

_"I'm so sorry."_

_No one said something. Tears welled up in Armin's blue orbs, but no one moved._

_Levi stopped drinking and looked over at the three friends._

_"Well Eren, Mikasa? Say something. Without his plan you would lie dead in the alleyway, or kidnapped, for Eren's case." He urged them insensitively. A fire lit up in Eren's eyes._

_"You punk were in this, too! You lied at us! Several times while looking us into the eyes-"_

_"I forgive you, Armin." Eren lost his breath. Mikasa looked saddened to the ground. Her words though were honest. Both Ackermans cast Eren a glance. The boy sighed in defeat._

_"I'm not angry Armin." He confessed, catching sorrowful blue eyes. Eren ignored the corporal as he walked past him. "In my head everything makes sense, of course. And most importantly I am just happy to have you back. That is the best gift in the world." Eren hid his hand in his pockets and looked down. Armin heard the but before it was spoken out loud._

_"But I can't forgive you. Not yet. It hurts too much."_

_"I know." Armin croaked, scared to look up. The mattress moved down to the right. Eren's palm placed itself comfortably on his knee. Armin met a warm smile._

_"Indeed you do. I guess we are even now. That's why I will be able to forgive you one day. If you just promise me, don't do that ever again." Eren's hand squeezed softly. The corners of Armin's mouth lifted shyly. Eren catched Armin in a hug._

_"Thank you."_

_They parted satisfied, just smiling at each other. Armin risked a short glance over Eren's shoulder. A soft red shimmer appeared on his cheeks._

_"Jean... I guess I owe you an apology as well." Armin scratched his neck. Jean shook up from his trance. He had been enjoying the scene so far, without having to play a part in it._

_"You risked so much for me. You saved my life two times in a row and as a favor I faked my death. I'm sorry."_

_Jean blinked confused. Armin was so beautiful and cute, he didn't even manage to get a sound out of his stunned body. Alright, pull yourself together. Say it. Say it!_

_"I-..."_

_Armin tilted his head when even after several seconds nothing followed. Eren and Mikasa narrowed their eyes at Jean, naturally protective over their shorter friend. When Jean noticed Levi widening his eyes in realization and turning his head to the window in the background, heat shot up into his face._

_"Well? What's your answer?" Eren growled with crossed arms. Jean shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it, boy was this embarrassing. He had been sticking to his charade for such a long time, it was impossible for him to let go._

_"Yeah, whatever. It's what soldiers do." He shrugged indifferently. Armin forced up a smile, but he couldn't hide his shoulders slumping down. Mikasa pinched the bridge of her nose, god did she know?!_

_"Uh, um, thanks I guess." Armin stammered disappointed. If Jean would've known how to help the situation... But he didn't._

_He didn't found an alternative that wouldn't hurt Armin._

"I'm sorry."

Jean lifted his body and sat back straight. Armin brushed away his blond hair over his flushed cheeks. Quickly he sat up as well, ordering his clothes that got brushed away by Jean.

"What for?" He sat next to Jean, lending him an ear. Jean sighed and escaped Armin's eyes.

"I hurt you, didn't I? Acting as if you didn't mean anything to me. Just to keep up one dumb reputation." Jean confessed. After the thought caught him he couldn't even look Armin into his eyes.

Armin shrugged lightly. "It did. But I hurt you more with my actions. _I_ didn't know, _you_ didn't know, so here we are. Now we know, so let's make the best out of it?" Armin proposed uncertainly. Jean sighed dismissively.

"It would've been better if I just told you my feelings sooner." Unlike Armin he had really tried to make it look like he didn't care for Armin. Flirting could've been easily explained with teasing, because classic Jean is mean. Armin always seemed busy, his head somewhere else than to waste a precious thought on love. But whenever he spared time for Jean, he expressed a little bit of his true feelings.

"Maybe it would. Maybe not. Everyone can make a choice after they have learned what it will result in. It is so easy to say you should have done it this way afterwards. But you can't know what your choice will result in before actually choosing." Armin explained, his eyes glued to the distance. Jean gazed astounded at him. How was he so wise?

"You forgive me?" Jean risked a shy smile. Armin shot him glance.

"I was never even mad." He giggled and shook his head. The last weeks had been enough for Armin. He had been eaten alive by gnawing guilt. The worst times when he had hidden in Levi's room and closet while his family believed his death.

"Geez, you're such a softie in real life." Armin sniffed and got rid of one stray tear drop. "Totally not my type." He joked playfully. 

Jean arched an eyebrow at the other one's statement. He understood the silent begging to stop being emotional. 

"I see, so you like bad boys?" Jean smirked obscurely. "Not gonna bragg or something, but-" Jean leaned forward to Armin. "When the commander told us to give our horses a piece of sugar... I ate it myself." He whispered in Armin's ear.

In favor Armin drew a humorous grimace. He pulled away and gasped shocked at Jean. "You wouldn't!"

Jean nodded proudly. "More than once." He confessed with a grin. He bathed in the small giggles Armin released. Next he was pulled closer, shuddering when Armin's warm breath touched his ear. 

"Did you know, I'm a bad boy myself?" Armin confessed with a sly smirk and a mischievous spark in his eyes. 

"You? Pshaw, as if!" Jean laughed and waved dismissively at the shorter boy. But how could he take the small boy with the stars reflecting in his innocent blue eyes serious?

"No kidding!" Armin insisted. Carefully he looked right and left before leaning towards Jean. Jean played along and leaned in as well, though this was all a joke to him. 

Armin covered his mouth with his hand from the side. "I keep a book from the outside world with me." He whispered with a smile. 

Jean fell back with an amused snort. "Haha, sure. But it's only fantasy," He laughed, "Right?" He added all of a sudden unsure when Armin's smile dropped.

"Wait..." Jean paused. "It's real?"

"Of course it's real, why would I cling to a dumb fantasy book?" Armin retorted with one raised eyebrow. He was grabbed by his shoulders.

"You know that's illegal?" Jean started freaking out. This didn't count for Armin.

"Oh so what. They gonna arrest me for _reading_?" He replied chill in a mocking tone.

"For reading a forbidden book? Yes!" Jean implied. He couldn't understand how Armin even had the nerve to roll his eyes.

"Come on. I've never been discreet about keeping an illegal book. The worst that could happen is someone trying to take it away from me." Armin shrugged his shoulders and made himself comfortable. Jean widened his eyes and plumped perplexed back on his but.

"Did you say _try_?" 

Armin glanced at him. "Hm? Oh yeah, first I would send in Eren to my precious book's defence." Armin explained his fool proof plan.

"Wouldn't even make a dent in it." Jean snorted and leaned back, discovering a big star in the sky.

"True, that's why I would send in Mikasa next." Armin continued with a big smile when he found a giant star in the dark sky.

Jean looked down on Armin and exhaled in a low laugh. "That's harsh. What will you do with the remaining survivors? They gonna keep the book?" He asked casually. 

Armin shrugged. "For a while, yes. Then they will suffer my wrath." He explained casually.

Jean jerked up next to Armin. "Woah you serious? Have some pity on them! They don't know who they're messing with." Jean laughed. Armin rolled his eyes.

"Very funny." He grumbled. Jean frantically shook his head. 

"I'm being serious here. After what you did with these traitors the least thing I wanna do is to get on your bad side." 

Armin scanned Jean for jokes, recognizing the complete severity. 

"Really? You fear me more than Mikasa?" Armin chortled questioning. Jean didn't think long. 

"Definitely!" He shuddered. Armin mused shortly with his hand on his chin.

"More than Levi?" 

Jean narrowed his eyes. "Don't get ahead of yourself." He laughed in a low grumble and pushed the shorter boy playfully. He nearly fell over.

"That's fair enough." Armin laughed brightly, recovering his balance. His laughter was a wonderful melody in Jean's ears. He couldn't help but marvel at the boy next to him.

The looks didn't went unnoticed.

"Say Jean-" He started with an innocent smirk. "-What were your first thoughts when you saw me for the first time?" He asked curiously. Jean smiled melancholy at the memory.

How could he forget the day the most amazing person on earth crossed paths with him? He knew for sure, that was the time Marco had started shipping them. Loyal from the beginning.

"Mh, I remember seeing you in the cafeteria. My heart skipped a beat for a moment, I was so astounded by your appearance. Your eyes were like sapphires and I felt myself drowning into them. It was breathtaking." Jean ended his poetic encounter. Let alone the sole memory gave him goosebumps.

Armin acknowledged the words without a comment and nodded.

"I thought you were a jerk."

"I thought you were a girl."

"Jerk!"

Armin punched Jean weakly like a girl. It tickled and resulted in making Jean laugh with Armin. 

"Come on, be serious. I wanna hear something romantic from you." Jean urged Armin and stubbed him annoyingly. 

"Mh no, I'm not a romantic person." Armin declined. Jean continued pushing his finger in Armin's shoulder.

"Come on, just try it."

"I'm not gonna try it." Armin groaned and pushed Jean's hand away. He didn't count in Jean's stubbornness.

Shortly after Armin landed with a gasp on the grass, Jean over him.

"Say something romantic." Jean demanded eagerly. 

Armin giggled. "Get off of me!" Though his efforts were anything but convincing. Jean eyed the body under him like a prey. A sudden squeak escaped Armin's lips.

"Stop!" He laughed, completely under Jean's mercy and his tickle attack. He squirmed under the bigger body. Jean snorted amused.

"Ahaha, I give up-Jean! I give up!" Armin screamed, tears slipping down the corners of his eyes.

"Ah ah, no giving up. I only accept something romantic." Jean purred into Armin's ear, enhancing the tickling feeling. The poor boy squeaked and squirmed under the attack.

"Plea-hease Jean! Stoop! Stop!" He cried higher than Christa could. Jean chuckled amused while invading Armin's sensitive belly with his bare hands. 

"I- I love you Jean!" Armin's mind was racing now. He had no other choice but to follow Jean's orders. He didn't saw another way out. 

Jean swiftly shook his head. "Not good enough, sweety-pie!" He hummed in a sing song voice. 

Armin squirmed frustrated. How did Jean even have the nerve to be picky? Armin was about to loose the control of his bladder and yet he should figure out something romantic.

"Goddamned Jean-! I really gotta pee!" Armin really wouldn't have made it longer. Luckily Jean let go and set back up. Armin panted relieved, though very annoyed. He blew away strands of hair from his face. Immediately the blond hair fell back and settled to stuck on his salty flushed cheeks.

Armin was about to retort something, like _Huh? Got scared there?_ Unexpectedly he noticed Jean's satisfied smirk.

"What?" Armin grumbled annoyed and crossed his legs. 

"Now was that so hard?" Was all Jean gave as an answer. Armin scowled irritated.

"You consider me peeing on you as something romantic?" He blurted out. Creeped out he observed the lack of reaction in Jean's face. "Weirdo..." He muttered, shaking his head in resignation.

"Try seeing it on a different level. You wouldn't tell that thing to... Let's say Connie." Jean eventually started reasoning.

"Connie wouldn't tickle me to death." Armin glared at Jean. Jean gave him the look. The look Armin loved and hated at the same time. 

"Fair point." Armin sighed in response to Jean's look, saying _Come on, you don't even believe it yourself._

"But you know why? It's embarrassing to say something like that." Armin argued, but he didn't even have a red shimmer on his cheeks. He could easily argue with Jean over the actions of his urinary bladder, but telling someone else he needed to pee was humiliating.

"So it's better to just pee-"

"-That's not the point here."

"Fine."

Armin sighed. "How is this conversation in the slightest romantic?" His eyes darted to the green ground. He started to pick single blades of grass.

"I think it's romantic you trust me to tell things that are usually embarrassing to you." 

Armin stopped picking at the grass in frustration. He gaped slightly and stared at the ground.

"Don't you think so?" Jean nudged him, which made Armin look up. Big mistake, Armin lowered his tomato red head back down.

"I guess..." Armin gave in with a shy shrug. "Though it does make us look like an old married couple." He added. A cloud shifted over the bright moon. Armin was grateful for the enhanced darkness.

"You have a point." Jean laughed lightly. He pulled Armin into a weird hug from the side. Armin squeaked, but placed his hands happily on Jean's chest.

"But I don't care. I watched over my reputation for a long while now. It never made me happy. _You_ make me happy." Jean placed a gentle kiss on Armin's golden hair. The boy glanced dreamily up and sighed contently. That was until the words rotating in his brain turned off the switch to send an alarm through his body.

"Wait there a second- we're gonna handle this in a discreet way, right?" Armin assured himself and pointed with his fingers around themselves. Jean raised an eyebrow. 

"You know-" Armin rubbed his neck. "-Keep it professional and such things." 

Jean frowned. "You scared? Of what others might think of you? Of _us_?"

Armin shook his head disgusted. "I don't care if the others have a problem with a gay couple. I just want to maintain a professional composure. I don't have a lot to present despite my brain. The least thing I need now is for someone higher ranked up to look down on me because we're acting all lovey dovey."

Of course it made sense to Jean if you'd look at it that way. They would ruin their chances to become something great in the future if they'd live out their love too much. And Jean already had great plans himself despite surviving.

"Alright! So it's settled! We stay professional!" Jean clapped enthusiastically his hands and rubbed them together. Armin's mood brightened up. He had feared Jean wouldn't like his idea.

"We'll keep it so professional, no ones gonna even notice we're a couple!" Jean joked, a delicious taste on his tongue when the word couple was mentioned. 

"Yep. Good idea." Armin approved satisfied. Jean looked down. Armin radiated a concerning severity.

"You know, I was joking." Jean nudged the smaller one. Of course he intended to keep it professional, but they didn't need to exaggerate.

"Well, I'm being completely serious." Armin deadpanned. Jean blinked perplexed before drifting into a childish pout.

"Come on~"

"No."

"Not even a small kiss~?" Jean bowed down to place an innocent smooch on Armin's cheek. He met with his rejecting palm.

"Will that be the treatment I'll get for kissing you in public?" Jean huffed disappointed. His mood was lifted when Armin laughed.

"Of course not. In such cases I'm immediately going to break up with you." 

Jean knew it was a cold hearted threat, but he could help but fangirl over Armin's statement. The boy backed away, confused by Jean. _What the freak is wrong with him...?_

"So we really are a couple now?" Jean sighed dreamily. Armin frowned concerned.

"Do you always need a double check?" 

Although the answer was a criticism, Jean could explode out of happiness. He and Armin were really a thing!

"So you're my _boyfriend_." Jean purred seductively, only resulting in Armin rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, like that's just what I said." Armin groaned annoyed. When he looked at Jean he couldn't surpress a smile.

"You're my _boyfriend_." 

The realization hit them both. It was so wonderful, knowing they weren't alone anymore. They had each other. These years of walking after the wrong person were over. Those days of lying to themselves were over.

Those nights of feeling incomplete, definitely over.

Jean had Armin. Armin had Jean. Only death could part them, and Jean swore to himself, he wouldn't let his Armin die another time. He would do everything to protect his love.

His dark silver eyes fell down to the colorful bouquet. It laid at their feet, right in the middle of both. He grabbed the green part and pulled the flowers to himself. Carefully, like Armin had earlier, he pinched the blossom away from it's home with his fingernail.

Armin observed him all the way. Even when Jean placed the shining blue flower into his golden hair. The moon reflected in his sparkling sapphires.

"It was always you..." Jean muttered, his thumb traveling over Armin's cheek. 

"Hm?" Armin questioned innocently. Jean smiled brightly. It didn't matter what would happen in the future. He was the luckiest man on earth to look at his love and marvel at his beauty.

"Nothing." Jean shook his head with a wide smile on his lips. Their hands found together. Jean squeezed Armin's. "I just noticed that you are the best thing that could've happened to me." 

He placed a gentle kiss on Armin's forehead.

Armin gaped at him speechlessly. No witty response, no equally romantic answer were produced in his normally active brain. His heart hammered against his chest. Armin knew only thing.

He was crazy in love with this man.

Jean widened his eyes, his lips parting to a soundless gasp. His lungs stopped breathing for a long moment.

Armin's blue orbs looking up to him. Blue orbs reflecting the sparkling sky. And his lip, oh his goddamn lip, trapped due to his white teeth. 

Armin biting his lower lip, looking up at Jean with adoration in his eyes.

"Woah!" Armin screeched, literally swept off his feet. Wrapped in Jean's arms bridal style he was spinned around in somewhat million circles.

"You have no idea how much I love you." Jean said when he set Armin back down tenderly on his own feet. 

Armin tilted his head, a challenging smirk on his face. "I bet I do." He purred while shifting up to his toes. His hands climbing up Jean's arms to his broad shoulders.

"Mh? You really think you know?" Jean snorted, his head slowly bowing down to meet with Armin's nose. He felt his warm breath on his cheeks. There were only the two, nothing else insisted in their small world.

"I know I do." Armin breathed, brushing away his hair. His fingertips met the blue flower.

These were the last words to escape his mouth before Jean sealed both lips together. Armin threw his arms over Jean's neck. Jean's left hand rested on Armin's hip, the other one held his back so Armin could comfortably lay into Jean's hold. Armin moaned satisfied into the kiss, sending fireworks through Jean's body. 

Was it the happy end they deserved? 

Well, both knew these moments wouldn't last forever. The next day could decide over all their happiness and break them apart indefinitely.

There was nothing they could do against this beautiful, but cruel world. 

All they could do was treasure every little moment. Every little moment together, that life granted them. Where fate eventually lead them wasn't their problem for now.

Armin didn't know yet, but he would remember every moment with Jean. The wonderful, as the bad ones. Every memory of Jean was a treasured one when he was sitting in his lonely cabin, in a lonely world. On his hard wooden chair, staring out of the window of his cold house. His open book in his hands, a fading picture of Jean and Armin functioning as a bookmark. Nothing doing but retelling the story of his life, day for day, because who else would remind the new generation of the gruesome things they all had to live through and eventually die for?

No one but Armin Kirschtein.

So he would talk, hoping that his words could change the world.

That history wouldn't repeat itself and people like Armin and Jean could have a future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this!  
> That was my first aot story (and hopefully not last one, but I'm really missing a new plot right now soo), thank you guys for every single Kudo, bookmark or comment. You really made my day and I appreciate every kind of feedback.  
> I'm sorry if the ending was too dark, but I'm incapable of forming happy endings somehow, I promise I tried. There was also the idea to make Jean imagine Armin was still there despite being dead, but that just broke my heart.  
> Anyways, thanks again for reading my story. Enjoy scrolling down for the next one.  
> Till we read again! ;)


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